When it's over, it's over.

You can try and hold on, try and keep going, try and
keep doing what's no longer working...but the truth
is, it won't work...

...because when it's over, it's over.

And then you've got two choices: hold on and suffer
while your old life spirals down into terminal
collapse, or let go and pick up the new life that's
probably been there for a while now, waiting for you
...and move on to what's next.

But letting go is not something most of us are real
eager to do or much good at. Trained from birth to
believe "more of the same harder!" will fix just
about anything, most of us keep running the same old
plays that aren't working anymore...while the people
and organizations in our lives applaud and encourage
us to "hold on!" and "stay the course!"...

...because, more often than not, what we're doing
works for *them*. It makes *their* lives work!

Forget it's making *us* miserable. Forget we're now
locked onto a fast track to failure. "Keep on keep-
ing on!" they encourage us, and so we do...

...unless we're fortunate and something huge comes
along and grabs us and screams right in our face: "NO
MORE!" Something life-changing...like the nervous
breakdown one reader suffered...in his own words:

"I have been receiving your letter for the last year
now and look forward to the Wed. event! Last year at
this time, I was having a 'mild nervous breakdown'
and a dear friend e-mailed me your weekly 'you too
can do it!' I have found them both inspirational and
the enforcement to get me out of the funk I was
living in.

"I had been in the travel industry for over 17 years.
High power, high stress, good money and great travel
benefits. When I turned 50, I think I must have
finally realized that I was going to be sitting at
my desk for the next 20 years until I retired, if I
lived that long.

"I finally reached the breaking point convincing my-
self that I was over the hill and would never be able
to do anything else and was too old to even make new
friends and what would people think of me if I quit.

"I became so stressed out, I couldn't eat, couldn't
sleep and cried on my way to the office. I convinced
myself that the office mates were my family and it
was where I belonged, to do anything else would be
crazy and what would I do?

"I finally became so ill, I had to take some time
off and try and get myself together. During the
month I had off, I decided I needed to just quit
and jump off the cliff. Even if I ended up working
at 'Home Depot', I had to make a change for my
health and the health of the relationships around
me. By the way, Home Depot in the nursery depart-
ment was the place I was really considering, as I
love the outdoors and flowers and plants.

"I realized that the money didn't matter and I
would always be 'taken care of'. I began the resume
routine and realized I really had a lot to offer.
You don't know that until you sit down and write it
out. I came to the realization that I could do any-
thing and go anywhere, if I was willing to take the
first steps.

"We are so much more than we believe we are, we have
so much more to offer than the limitations we put on
ourselves. I wasn't really sure what I wanted to do,
but landed a job that 'fell in my lap' that I have
been at for 7 months now and truly love and enjoy and
already will be getting a raise at the end of the
month! I look forward to going to work every day now
and realize now that life really is short and I am
bigger and better then I ever thought.

"Thanks for the weekly e-mails. HAVE FAITH THAT LIFE
WILL BE KIND TO YOU AND YOU CAN DO ANYTHING IF YOU'RE
WILLING TO TAKE THE CHANCE."

He's right, you know. And now the big question is:
what'll it take to push *you* out of your old box and
into the life you keep saying you want? Yea, that one
...there...waiting for you...

Jump now, while your window of opportunity's still
open. Because...trust me on this...it *won't* last
forever.

© Pat Lynch, 2002. All rights reserved.

Please feel free to forward this on.

***********

Out of the Box is a free weekly e-mail newsletter created
to help you find more effective ways to release your
potential and get the life you've always wanted.

New subscribers are welcome, and there is no charge. To
subscribe, send an e-mail to: join-outofthebox@potential.com.

To unsubscribe, e-mail: leave-outofthebox@potential.com.

***********

Got a story or experience that you think would be helpful
to others in getting out of the box? Please send it to me
at patlynch@potential.com.

***********

Reproduction for publication is approved, provided the
copyright information is included along with the following
attribution: From "Out of the Box", a weekly newsletter by
Pat Lynch. You may contact him at patlynch@potential.com.

Hi. I'm there right now. Had major surgery & out of work for 6 weeks recovery. Just back to work last week. SO now H is pouring it on. Says got an apt & signing lease & moving out by Oct 1st. Says he has attny appt next week. Says he wants "his share" of the house (= not signing it over to me). Wants half the profit when and if sold. Says "oh, well it just didnt work out". HE NEVER TRIED. Denies any contact whatsoever with OW - its been a year and a half now! and hes been at home under our roof for most of it. I have been thru hell. I got fired from old job cause OW lied about me. (all worked same place). He still pulls my sympathy strings. I do not have the strength to say "oh well" or kick him so I just say nothing. I hurt SO bad.

He may be divorcing me on paper, but he will always be my husband in my heart. Inspite of the fact that he has treated me worse than dirt the last 18 months. He must have serious psychological difficulties but refused counseling. I tried everything to no avail. It was long past a Plan A or B a long time ago. He was a brick wall against anything I did or said or offered. Refused everything. Was never home except to sleep on floor at 11PM every night.

On top of all this, my boss is worse than HIM these days. Every since I came back from surgery she has been undermining my abilities and giving me pure hell. I cant even talk to her, she just gets worse & more defensive. It is so bad. She scowls at me. SHe was never like this before. She had a hysterectomy just about 5 weeks before I had my surgery (ovary removed). Shes in her early 50's. I think its biological but she's just ripping into ME for every little thing.

My marriage, my health, my job . . what the heck is next ???? Boy, OW must be some voodoo witch. I wish revenge on her so bad, but she must have all the luck in the world.

Say a prayer for me to get thru this!! I'd better go before boss lady comes back.