i need help, i have thought of suicide, but i dont want to leave my kids, my wife wants a divorce, she moved in with another man, she has been there for two weeks, she seems like a completely diffrent person, she and he are taking a vacation to california on a trip we were going to go on, they are taking the car (our car), she said i can stay at the OUR, i have been staying at my office. though i dont know why considering she has been staying at his house. she let me see the kids for 3 min before she went to his house to leave this morning, and to make things worse there were marks on her neck that she admited were from him.

please god help me keep my sanity!!!

i have not been a great husband, and i am composing a letter to post about the things i have done, and how i can change them. but this is too much. please someone tell me how to go on. i miss my wife and i miss my kids...

i will try to post a discription how she meet this guy. it was only 16 to 18 days ago. she left the house that morning and i wished her the best and waved in the window hoping she would come home soon. she never did. at 4 that morning what came back was not my wife!!!

HELP PLEASE!!!

Hello Ruak,
I hear the pain and anguish you are in right now... and I want you to know that many of us here, are here to help you as best we can.
I know exactly what are going through all too well... most of us here do as well.
You are in a good place... read as much as you can that this site has to offer... and fill us in on your whole situation.
Stay Strong!
Wallace

Ruak,

Hello. Your situation is so hard, but not hopeless. My stbxh took son on a supposedly boy's trip last thanksgiving and OW went along witht hem. They stayed at same hotel where we honeymooned at. Ultimate betrayal in my book and my little boy was eyewitness to it all.

Now is not the time to fall apart. Start with MB principles and get tough. Call and get an appt. witht he Harleys. It is morally wrong wht your WW is doing in front of the kids with this guy. You may have to take protective measures so this stops for benefits of kids' well being.

And as for yours...This is one of the worst kinds of betrayal. Don't be afraid to ask for help as how to get through this from a counselor at church. Get involved in a separation/divorce support group. I am not saying you'll end up D'd, just that you need to surround yourself with those who will give you emotional support. Now's not the time for rash decisions or even entertaining any thought of doing away with yourself. Your kids will need to depend on one parent now for moral guidance and for their best interest. She is having a fling. Go to the gym, workout, release stress healthy way. See counselor, post here, get in a support group, and pray. Talk to your kids. Be a rock for them.

I don't know your story, exactly, but get proactive and take responsibility for your role in this downhill thing in your M right now. Take hold of the reigns of your life and hold tight. God is an awesome God and will stand beside you and carry you through it all.

Plus, we are here and praying. Best to you.

Ruak,

please god help me keep my sanity!!!

God can restore you to sanity and a whole lot more. Just ask Him, give it all to Him, let Him handle it right now. Just ask Him how you should look at this situation.

I know it hurts, no way to explain it to another if they have not gone through it. You can make it thru this Your kids need you right now.

Read all you can, this website has been a life saver for so many of us.

I will keep you in my prayers

God Bless,

D,

You've already gotten some great advice here. I echo what Not preachy in GA said. In addition, if those suicidal continue as strong as they are right now then get to your doctor and get on some anti-depresants. This is recommended by William Harley in his book, Surviving an Affair. He is the guy behind the advice and lessons here on this site.

It will get easier. I am about 3 1/2 past D-day. I didn't think that I could live. After discovery and confronting her, she told me that she has been unhappy for years and wanted a D. She continued to see OM and lie to my face about it.

Look for "WAT's quickstart guide" post located here on this board. Also read what Harley says on this site about the anatomy of an affair. I have found that understanding helps me cope. You'll find that your wife will follow what WAT has posted and the things that Harley has written, almost as if she is reading from his script.

There is hope. There will be a lot of pain and tears. Surround yourself with family and friends. I talked with my best friend every day for the first month and a half at least, for an hour or two a day. It helps to get these feelings out. If you can't talk to anyone in particular, then, I'd suggest starting a journal and pour out your feelings there. The journal is actually a good idea even if you do have people to talk to. I am attending a divorce recovery group at a local church. It really does help to get together with people who understand what you are going through. Coming here and posting and reading will help much in the same way.

Don't give up hope. You WILL make it through this even though you probably don't even feel like you want to at this point.

Good Luck and God Bless