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Figure it may be time to move over here. DV is inevitable, and we have come to settlement terms.
My complete story is over on GQII. For a brief rundown, here it is:
My WW had a 3 year long A. I discovered it in May, 2002, and they faltered a couple of months later just like we hear after D-day. WW was sooooo in love with OM. Well, WW discovers OM's W is expecting their 2nd child. That ends it for WW and OM.
Now...just 2 weeks after WW and OM are over, WW has already moved in with OM #2! Well...can't actually call him OM #2, since we are Dv'ing. But..we are still married though, at least for the next week or two.
That is a rebound like a superball!
She is SEVERELY in MLC, in my opinion. Has to have CONSTANT assurance that she is attractive and desired. Other habits she has acquired over the past year just confirms this.
She needs professional help. She really does.
BTW, I wonder if she knows OM #2 has had 4 different R's already in 2002? Just so j\happens I know a guy that knows him well.
*sigh* Geez.....
HCII
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Hi hcii: Sorry to hear your DV is inevitable. But there comes a time when you just have to move on.
We have similar stories. The OW my XH left me for lasted about 2 months. I have heard through the grapevine that my XH has had 5 or 6 girlfriends since then and it looks like his latest girlfriend that was living with him has now moved out. She lasted about 3 months.
Don't know what is wrong with these wayward spouses. They seem to be looking for something and just can't find it. And all the time they had it with us. Take care.
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HI hcci, Welcome to the DV board. It's actually much smaller than GQ & it kind of feels like a community. Sorry for the reason you are here. I've read many of your posts on GQ. That is a rebound like a superball! BOING <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> BOING <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> BOING <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> BOING <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> BOING <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> BOING <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> God Bless, D.
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hcii:
When did this OM2 come along? was it 2 weeks after OM1 "ruined her life" or whas it 2 weeks ago?
I'm cornfused.
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> When did this OM2 come along? was it 2 weeks after OM1 "ruined her life" or whas it 2 weeks ago?
I'm cornfused. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Well 2Long,
For starters, let's just say I still receive some records via e-mail. Guess she didn't know I had the accounts set up that way before she left and filed.
According to the dates I see, she was calling the OM#2 just 2 weeks after OM "ruined her life". In other words, she's been in contact with OM#2 almost 2 months, now.
I don't know if you remember or not, but I posted a month or so ago about some male answering her cell phone. I now know it was OM#2. 3 minutes after my call, there was a call made to OM#2's cell. He must have had hers, and she had his.
Go figure....
HCII
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Wow...how'd she do it? I am just now pondering on how to be single again..That takes some fancy maneuvering if you ask me. Maybe she can supply me with her notes..Lol!!! Just a joke.
It almost sounds like an addiction of some sort. She is maybe somewhat like a co dependent and always being needy. That was what OW aka Ms. Monkey was like. This guy sounds like with his four flings so far this year..Let's see, we are entering the 10th month and he's had 4 relationships so far this year so that must be a new girl every two and a half months..He sounds REALLY STABLE. Doesn't sound like he is after anything except short term self gratification. Maybe he is in fact getting a correspondence course from my Austin Powers...
This A will end to. Got a foundation built on quicksand my friend. Ms. monkey just broke up with Austin, or so they say, about two months ago. Wonder who is on the back burner for him? After all he's an international man of mystery AND FOG...
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HCII, you sound like you are in a very similar situation as me.I too have recently moved over to this board. STBXW had an A, we separated and OM dumped her shortly after. Then she spent a few months trying to date anything, finally she found the man of her dreams, filed for D, and he dumped her 6 weeks later.
I guess she's online searching for dates now, can't seem to be able to cope without someone else to give her reassurance - obviously a serious self-confidence issue, it seems that we are both in very similar situations
I wish you the best
wpd
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Not peachy posted.... </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Wow...how'd she do it? I am just now pondering on how to be single again..That takes some fancy maneuvering if you ask me. Maybe she can supply me with her notes..Lol!!! Just a joke. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Well...to be honest...not because I was(am) M'd to her or anything....She is a looker....32 years old with a body of a 22, and a mind of a 12 <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> oops...got carried away.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> She had begun to develop an ego problem the last year or so that we were M'd. I really overlooked it, though, because I was pretty well confident about our M. I don't think there was a day went by over the past year or so where she didn't come home after work and let me know about the many men that had hit on her that day. Even now, and I NEVER am the first to mention it, I am amazed at the number of friends that tell me that very same thing. That she was really beginning to get a little "over-confident". They weren't going to say anything to me while the WW and I were "happily" M'ed, though. I can understand that..... HCII
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This is hilarious!!!
Right about time Austin met Ms. Monkey, he suddenly started worrying about the hair on his back. He wanted me to WAX IT FOR HIM to remove it. I did not knowing his intent...
Anyhow, time passes and we are close to finally separating. Austin asks me to again WAX his back b/c he is going on a business trip to Florida Keys..Did he think I am an idiot or something? I mean, I look good in swimsuit and I just started diving so why not take me? B/c my friend, ms. monkey must be going.
SOOOOO. I PUT THE NAD'S WAX STUFF WHICH WAS HOT ON HIS BACK. APPLIED THE LITTLE STRIPS ON EITHER SIDE OF HIS LOVE HANDLES AND...
PULLED THE STRIPS OFF IN THE WRONG DIRECTION. SUPPOSED TO PULL THEM OFF IN DIRECTION OF THE HAIR GROWTH. Austin almost lept off the floor onto the ceiling. I said, "I'm sorry honey, I guess I am not good at this. Maybe someone on your trip with you can help you remove this unsightly hair".
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> This is hilarious!!!
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">OK...How about something silly? In one of our recent "can't work" conversations, the WW reiterated to me that there was enough of an age difference that it caused us to not have a lot in common. I mean...you would think we would have a lot in common after 14 years of marriage and 2 before that. Actually, we did. Liked the same music, loved traveling on a "whim", loved cats, etc., etc., yada yada. A host of other things, also. Anyway, I don't think there is a lot of difference between 41 and 32 <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> . She tells me that OM #1 is 34. That no way would her next R be with a man over 35. I do a little searching and discover he's 38. Is there really that much difference between him at 38 and me at 41? At least I don't think so. Well...OM #2 is 38, also, and all indications are has NEVER been M'd. I'm not trying to be arrogant or anything, but a man waiting until 40 or so to be married? What gives? I guess she felt the need to lie to me about their ages. If she had to resort to lying about their ages, to justify her A and present R, and THAT is all she can come up with being wrong with "us", then I will NEVER understand her. Give me a break! Do better than that, puhleeze! There is a pattern, though. OM #1 worked out at the gym some, and OM #2 works out a LOT. Can we say probably steroids? But hey....I ain't THAT bad. 5'9" and 145 lbs. HCII
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Another thing...... I know the occupations of both these dudes, and can come pretty close to guessing their income. I hope they don't discover that she spent almost 6 months worth of their paychecks just on clothing in 2001! And she's NOT getting maintenance. Asking for that is the only way that I can use her infidelity as evidence. My state is no-fault, and misconduct is irrelevant. Except for maintenance, of course! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> She's gonna have a heck of a time going from 6 figures to barely 2. I'm eager to see how she adjusts..... HCII
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hcci,
And she's NOT getting maintenance. Asking for that is the only way that I can use her infidelity as evidence. My state is no-fault, and misconduct is irrelevant. Except for maintenance, of course!
Interesting .....I live in a no fault state too didn't know that there were other considerations. What state are you in? I am in Florida.
D.
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by hcii:
<strong>Figure it may be time to move over here. DV is inevitable, and we have come to settlement terms.
Now...just 2 weeks after WW and OM are over, WW has already moved in with OM #2! Well...can't actually call him OM #2, since we are Dv'ing. But..we are still married though, at least for the next week or two. She is SEVERELY in MLC, in my opinion. Has to have CONSTANT assurance that she is attractive and desired. Other habits she has acquired over the past year just confirms this.
She needs professional help. She really does.
BTW, I wonder if she knows OM #2 has had 4 different R's already in 2002? Just so j\happens I know a guy that knows him well.
HCII</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hi hcii! Sorry to hear this has happened to you, I know MLC really hurts the loved ones of the person having it. But it sounds like your WW is going to be the one hurt really bad when/if she continues this insane pursuit of a (quite obviously) non-committing OM - wonder what she's going to do when he DUMPS her off for somebody else??? Where is her self-esteem going to go then? Why is it 'not enuff' for YOU, her Husband to think so highly of her, but she has to go out and seek SOMEBODY ELSE'S approval??? But she can't think about these things now, because "THE FOG" has blinded her. Please know that YOU have lots of folks praying for you. Perhaps your WW might think twice (hope springs eternal) if you sat her down and asked her these questions... Please give it a try and hope & pray she will listen to you, think long and hard about the answers, and realize that she needs to return to her true love - you, her Husband.
Good luck and may God bless you, Harold
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by hcii: <strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> This is hilarious!!!
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">OK...How about something silly? But hey....I ain't THAT bad. 5'9" and 145 lbs. HCII</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Dude, I'm jealous! I'm 5'9" and weigh 227! Guess I have the DunLap Disease. Of course, it has to be my Sea Food Diet... you know, I see food, I eat it, LOL. My wife says there's just 'more of me to love' and you know what? I agree with her. Harold My main workouts consist of pushing the 'Power On' button on the computer, hitting the keyboard and working out with a Mouse heheheheeee. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Ya gotta love it!
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hcii:
"Well...to be honest...not because I was(am) M'd to her or anything....She is a looker....32 years old with a body of a 22, and a mind of a 12 oops...got carried away...."
And folks, remember that there's a pic2re of the "happy 2ple" (sorry, hcii!) on the MB photo album! You're both "lookers" (not that ol' 2long is in2 that "cross-looking" scene!)
I agree, what's 41/32? My W and I are 49/48(as of next 2sday), W and OM are 48/36! I've had a tough time with that in the past, but don't care anymore. He wants a 26 yr/old that looks like Angelina Jolie! His W is a cute 34 yr old. So much for integrity over there!
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WGTT posted: </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Interesting .....I live in a no fault state too didn't know that there were other considerations. What state are you in? I am in Florida. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I live in Kentucky. Kentucky statutes explicitly state that marital misconduct is not to be used in a disposition of property. However, that wording is not used in the statute for maintenance. There is case law here that will allow that as evidence in a request for maintenance, but only can be used against the one asking. Cannot be mentioned against a person NOT asking for it, even if they are guilty of it. A lot of times people will forego the maintenance just to keep it out of the judge's mind. Even though they are restricted from using it to decide property division, once it's in their mind, well....who knows....NOT worth the risk. So, here in KY, the disposition of property is merely an "economic" decision. Technically, since my income is greater, she could have been awarded the majority of the marital property to "equal" us out, economically. KY is an equitable distribution state, not a community property state. There is a list of deciding factors the judge has to consider such as the length of the marriage, income, standard of living (Gawd I hate that one...Why should I maintain her standard of living if she doesn't want to live with me?). I am really considering sort of a pre-nuptial agreement should I ever decide to remarry. May get flamed for this thought, but...hey...reality is reality. My "pre-nup" won't be the normal one, though. It will be very simple. A one-liner that will affect me as well. I intend for one ground rule to be set and accepted by both of us. The one to commit infidelity will agree to walk away with nothing. If that bothers my next companion, then so be it. If they can't agree to that, then we have problems before we ever get started... HCII
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HCII,
That's the perfect pre-nup!
I will remember that one and utilize it as well.
I'm sorry for your situation. I'm there too man.
Good luck!
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