I have an overwhelming urge to go talk to my WW's aunt (we're both close to her) to explain to her that I tried to save the marriage, but it just wasn't in the cards. I haven't seen any of my in-laws since last March, and I don't even know if they know we're getting divorced. I want to just tell them that I love them and I won't forget them, but my WW has taken them away from me. Also, I won't be able to contact them anymore after the DV b/c it will just add to my pain and slow down my recovery process b/c I'll want to know how my WW is doing.

Should I go talk to her aunt so that she can pass my message on to the family, or just leave it as-is and just ride away into the sunset, never to see or talk to them again. I'd be happy either way, I think. I know that blood is much thicker than water, so she may not even WANT to talk to me. Just wondering if anybody here on MB has taken either route (talk or ride away) and how it was received by the STBX-inlaws.

Nasakid - I actually just got divorced last week - so I am kind of new at this - but I still talk to my mother in law - I mean she is still my kids Nana - but I would say if you want to let them know how you feel - maybe you could just drop a little card and let them know how you feel - blood is thicker than water in most cases but they were still a part of your life and vice versa - they might like to hear from you - Good Luck

Austin's parents were in denial about how their son was. They knew all too much about his A with ms. monkeyho. In the end, they just said that too (his mom who is a bully and not very feminine, as I am) much water under a bridge...

They actually were at my home the day I moved in my home I am leasing. Not sure why they came, supposedly to "help" me move in. Anyway, I wasn't expecting anything but movers that day and I drive up with my son and here is Austin and Sir Powers, Sr. and Mrs. Powers here at my new home. Austin was actually directing the movers where to place my furniture.

While I was moving in, naturally I had some words with Austin. Who also stated in front of his parents that ms. monkeyho had even been to my old home back three states away. She had been doing "periodic checks" of it to make sure it was ok (my home was on the market and is not anymore, as per my attorney). His mother actually told me "at least someone is watching it for you". I didn't know whether to slap her or laugh.

Ended up saying that if they condoned this type of horrible behavior, then they could use the door and not let it hit them on way out. As they walked out the door, I picked up my large bridal portrait, framed and beautiful and marched right out the front door with that and another framed wedding picture of Austin and I. Austin actually had enough audacity to have movers bring those pics in like I would hang them up or something..I took the pics and put them on the hood of Austin's shaguar and walked out..

That was in January. They live about an hour away from me. I got a call from the dominant Ms. Powers in March. She wanted to have my son for the weekend for a visit. I told her it was more appropriate for her to arrange this through her son..That I was having to share the privilege of parenting with their child and I am not happy at all when I have to pack my son up for a weekend at another house. Told her I would not be able to help her with that request. She then asked about my new jow. "It sounds really exciting. I bet you are so happy to be doing this again". (I was a stay at home mom after son was born. I replied, "I was looking forward to bringing more children into my family. That was Austin and my plan. But I am happy with my work but not with these circumstances. You know how it feel to be betrayed by your husband and mine at least had the decency to leave me while I am still young and have my future ahead of me. She said then to me that she was just hoping that we could be friends but never talk about the D, the A and so on. Told her possibly one day that c ould happen, but until she, her husband and above all Austin come out of their brain fogs and stop making excuses for this entire family's sins that I just want to be by myself. Told her when she quits denying she is in denial then we can talk.

This is almost October and not a word. They were not at all supportive since Austin threw son and I out of our home. They never even offered to bring me a gallon of milk for their grandson when I was living in an extended stay hotel and living off of my credit cards just so son and I could survive.

Personally, I am glad I haven't been given another opportunity to speak with or see them again. Know I sure will not initiate any kind of contact with them unless they are continuing with poor behavior and being unsafe or doing something wrong when my son is visiting them. Then they will hear from me and my lawyer.

Sure. I called them up when wife and I decided to divorce. Told them I was sorry it was happening. (That was before my ex filled their heads with her BS).
Haven't heard from them since. Don't really want to, either.
Life is much better now since they're ALL out of my life.
"Life's Been Good" - Joe Walsh, 1979.
Harold

Both my ex's parents are deceased, but MY parents still honour my ex in every way ( as I have ASKED them to), and they have a great relationship with her. I don't see any need to change that. I never gave them grotty detail, just the bare facts.

muzohead

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by muzohead:
<strong>Both my ex's parents are deceased, but MY parents still honour my ex in every way ( as I have ASKED them to), and they have a great relationship with her. I don't see any need to change that. I never gave them grotty detail, just the bare facts.

muzohead</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hi again MH! Yep, same here - only thing is, my ex has become so TRIFLING and PETTY that even my parents, who live in VA have 'seen the light' on her. My own Dad told me they had given my ex the 'benefit of the doubt' at every turn, even over me, until they got to see for themselves just how trifling she is and how she USES everyone to only further her own ends and gain their sympathy for her... But once confronted with continuing stoopit selfish vindictive acts on HER part, they woke up and they told me they don't trust her any further than they can throw her. It's amazing the lengths that ex's can go to, trying to continue screwing up things for you. My ex did her personal best to turn my own parents and family against me. Didn't work tho, it backfired on her and now nobody trusts her. OOPSIE - wrong move on her part - just another in a LOOOOOOOOONG string of screw-ups on HER part. When will she ever learn...
Life goes on.
"Live Well - It's The Best Revenge"
Harold

DJ-
Yeah, well.....I really don't wish that on my ex. I wish she'd just see that she'll end up alienating a lot of people. She has no real family that she's close to, my parents are like her own, and they love her. I don't think she's vindictive enough to attempt to blacken my name, though. Not with anyone.

I hope she doesn't eventually resort to using the kids, though, 'cos kids grow up and eventually learn the truth. They can be pretty unforgiving under those circumstances.

Nasakid-
I would take my cue from the in-laws themselves. You could drop them a courteous greeting-card, just expressing regret, then see IF / HOW they respond(?)

muzohead