Is there a beginning or is ther and end. I have not figured either out. I am a young wife me 34 and him 47. I thought older men had their poop in a group. To much dismay not true. Over the past year it has been very rocky. My husband still keeps in contact with old girldriends from high school. And when out of town they have dinner etc. I have found porn cites on the computer that he has visited. I put a spy cam on the puter. Gee i truely think he must think because i am young i am so very dumb. In the past month i feel as my whole life as taken a downward spin . I could not find the credit card bills, so i began to snoop through his brief case. Well i found rubbers and mind u he had a vasectmy when i found out i was pregnant with youngest child. I confromted him on the rubbers and he said he used them to jack off with as it was messy. Please excuse the outwardness as i have no other way of describing. I have found the credit card bills along with many other details. He went to an escort service and put it on the credit card. I can't stop thinking about what i did not do to make him happy. We made love often 3 or more times a week. I feel like an ugly duckling. And have made myself crazy wondering if he did the same things we do with the other women. I have filed for divorce. Help i am just struggling. He says it did not mean anything but i do not trust him

Michelle

Hi Quiet Storm,

I'm sorry for posting on your thread this late, as I didn't see it... I as well have been caught up into a whirlwind of emotions as of late.

There are many good people here, that can help you get through this... you have come to a good place.

Many of us, if not all of us know how your feeling... it is truly a life altering experience.

If you haven't had a chance yet, try to read up on as many topics this site has to offer.

It may help you better understand what you are feeling right now.

We are here for "you"!

Stay Strong!

Wallace

Honey...it is not you...it is a problem with him. He has a sexual addiction. Be careful for you. Think about boundaries, what you can and won't allow in your marriage. Above all protect yourself physically and emotionally.

Until your husband realizes he has a problem and really wants help, you won't be able to satisfy him--that is the cold, harsh reality. It is hard to deal with--I know...I wish I had better advice to give you---and there is no easy way out of the hurt and pain. Try to get some counseling or a support group--you will need it. The people on this site are fantastic--it saved my sanity. Keep posting and writing--they will help you. Take Care Pat

Wallace and Pat i appreciate all your kind words of support. I have found anythng so hard to do. He wants me to forgive hime. I can forgive but i can't forget. I want him to move out but he does not he thinks in a few days that i will change my mind. I am just so hurt. Help any suggestions.

Quietstorm