I can't take living with him anymore. He constantly tells me what to do and plays mind games with me. I want him out. My Attorney told me to stay put because I could lose the house if I leave. How can I get my stbx to leave?

Hello, babytoluv,

I do not mean to sound trite, but have you asked him to leave? Can you get some type of action from your attorney? Does your H say that he will absolutely not leave? Are you in physical danger? If so, is it wise to stay, no matter what?

I am thinking this one over and will be back.

Praying for you,
cpp

cpp,

I tried to get an exclusive objection from my Attorney today but she told me that she filed one last week for another client of hers with the same Judge that was assigned to us and it was denied. She told me that unless my stbx was physically abusing me, there was nothing she could do about getting him out of the house.

Hi Baby,
At this time, until he is ordered to leave, I would suggest you do your best to isolate yourself from him. Since you work at home, that will be difficult for you to do. One thing to keep in mind, he wants this divorce, so what right does he have to tell you what to do? This was his choice, his initiation. I think he is trying to make it difficult for you to live there, so you will be the one to leave. Then he can get you on abandonment. How long does it usually take for this to get settled so one has to leave?

Be careful. I get the impression that so far he has not been violent with you, correct? If he should do so because he is losing control, do no hesitate to call for help.

Baby to Luv:

I know exactly how you feel: I was in a situation when my W refused to stop seeing OM, and also refused to move out. She simply stared at me in defiance and said NO. ...and WHAT was I going to do about it....
?
When I finally had had enough, I told her that unless she either left, or stopped seiing OM, that I would pick her up at the ears, and pitch her out on her a$$. I said it in a quiet controlled way, and she got the message. However, unless you weigh 40 pounds more than your H, you have little chance of making this kind of veiled threat stick. You could try threatening to expose the affair (i assume he's having one?), to all your friends & family, including his, and the fact that he refuses to move out. In other words, make it public that he's behaving like a b*st*rd. If this doesn't work, try doing it through a mutual male friend.

I really hope he goes. In the end in my sit., I moved out rather than cause problems for the kids.
Good luck
muzohead

B2L,

I know this isn't what you want to hear, but...

Quite honestly, I simply think you have no right to expect him to leave. It doesn't work that way. That is your home. It is also his home. The fact that one of you has filed for divorce does not change that. When you are divorced and everything is settled by the court, then some enforced changes in living arrangments might occur. It is quite likely that it will be neccesary to sell the house anyway.

Further, he is a father - good or bad one - still his child lives there and unless you are willing for him to take the child with him (which I'm sure you aren't), you cannot force him to be separated from his child right now.

-AD