Hello everyone-

This board has been extremely helpful at times so I'd thought I'd seek out advice from some of you that have been through D.

The condensed verion of my story is that after much prayer I was able to forgive my WW for her PA and accept my part in our problems leading up to it. We've actually gotten along very well in the few times we've communicated over the past couple of months but are now at the point where the final papers will need to be signed. For my part I don't want the D but have accepted that I can't control what she does. I truly believe that she doesn't want it either but feels that things have been too busted up to fix. I've told her more than once that the money spent on attorneys, PI's, etc. doesn't matter but I think she's having a hard time forgiving herself. She's under alot of stress and I want to help but also want to take care of myself. I've comforted myself from the uneasy feeling that going through with the D is a mistake by remembering that she hasn't taken any steps to rectify things. However, the thought that this could go through before she comes out of her fog is scary. Oh well, I guess I should just ride it out and sign on the dotted line, right? Thanks in advance!

bwcaw,

Do you feel that you could handle the possible pain and damage if she were to say "no" one more time? If so, what have you go to lose? Why not see her in person somewhere you both feel comfortable, look her in the eyes and tell her exactly what you just said. If she says "no" you get divorced, if you don't do anything, you get divorced. If she says "yes" you have a chance at a marriage reborn. I am sure that if/when my wife ever goes through with the divorce, I'll ask one last time before we see the judge. I'm a believer it doing everything and anything that your heart can stand. Sure wish that my heart could be as logical as my brain.

LA-

Yeah, I think I'll take your advice and give it another shot. While I'm thankful that my anger towards her has disappeared, the sadness and longing at times is unbearable. One thing I've discovered in this whole process is that bringing back and experiencing the feelings of pain and sadness seem to help in the long run.
Thanks for the advice!