I have been divorced for approx. 3 years. I have had physical custody of my daughter with shared (50/50) visitation. She is 16 y/o. Recently my ex has decided that she wants full custody of my D with me only having her every other weekend. I have had my D all this time and love her very deeply. My D has expressed to her own psycologist that she enjoys the arrangements as they are now and doesn't wish to change. I belive my ex is seeking this modification for the sole purpose of obtaining more child support money from me.

Last week we went to court to settle this issue. My D told the judge that she wants to have her visits with both of us remain as is. My ex became very upset and told the lawyer that my D has been pursuaded by me to say this. She believes my D is "confused" and doesn't really know what she wants. (that's typical behavior for my ex - always thinking she can "think" for other people)

Anyway, here is my question. Ex insists that the court order a psychiatric evaluation on me, my ex, and my D. Then the Psych will make a recommendation to the Judge on her/his opinion. Since this is something my ex-wife is insisting on, am I obligated to pay for the services of the psycholgist or is she? I dont' feel I should have to pay for something she is wanting to do. Especially since my D is very direct and confident about her choice to leave visitation as is...

Your thoughts please,

Ice

Tell you lawyer to fight tooth and nail for you and your D's rights, and if s/he is unwilling or unmotivated to do so then get yourself a legal pitbull.

I would ask that your EX be responsibile for the bill. Since your daughter has expressed her will, and is happy with the way things are, I would request EX pay all of it.

The evaluation by a psch. could be good/bad for you. All depends on how questions are answered and what questions are asked.

This is hard for you, your daughter loves you and wants daddy as much as you want her. Why doesn't your lawyer fight for keeping the 50/50 as is. Your daughter is old enough to know what she wants right now. Maybe in the years to come, she will want it different. But there is no way that a daddy should be kept away from his daughter.

Just my opinion.

I'd get your lawyer on this. You haven't said whether a court order has been issued or not but your lawyer should first fight the whole idea but if it is ordered it should be stipulated that it is at your ex expense. Maybe it would do some good for your ex to have her head examined !

Thanks for your words. My lawyer is fighting tooth and nail for me! He is fully aware of what I want and what my D wants. I have no intention of keeping her mother out of her life, but I will do whatever it takes to make sure that her life is not disrupted simply because her mom wants more money now.

An update to tell...my lawyer went back to court to discuss this issue of who should pay for the psych eval and the judge asked that the court appointed lawyer come into the courtroom and give her opinion. She stated, as my D had told her that there was absolutely NO cooersion on my part that would have had any bearing on her desire to have a 50/50 custody. The lawyer stated that my D was very clear and KNEW what she wanted. She (lawyer) said that she felt it was a waste of the courts time to hear an opinion of a psychologist when clearing the child is old enough to express her position.

After hearing from my D's lawyer, the Judge told my ex's lawyer that his client would have to pay for a psych. eval. if she so desired to continue this pursuit! So now I wait to hear what she wants to do. You know, this may work in my favor after all. As far as paying for her legal fees which she also wants, that matter has been delayed until after the custody hearing...

Ice

Here's a small scope of what FL law does your State may be different:

So why do lawyers charge so much? Let's take a "simple" example. It does not matter whether the example concerns alimony, child support or anything else. The point is to illustrate why it can take a lot of a lawyer's time to properly deal with just one aspect of the client's matter. Lawyer Jones represents the wife. She calls one day and says that her husband has decided to fight for custody of the parties child. She is extremely upset and the lawyers spends 25 minutes on the phone with her. An appointment is scheduled. During a 1 1/2 hour conference the wife explains why it is in the child's best interest to live with her. She explains that the husband is making accusations about her fitness to care for the child.

The wife gives the lawyer the names of four witnesses who can either attest to the wife's good child rearing abilities, or respond to the allegations that the husband will make. She is given the name of a psychologist to see for an evaluation of her parenting abilities and mental state. At a minimum the attorney will need to interview each witness by phone or in person, attend their deposition by opposing counsel, review costly transcripts of the witnesses' deposition testimony prior to trial, and prepare the witness to testify in Court. The lawyer will also have to take the deposition of the husband and his witnesses regarding the accusations and his suitability and the wife's non-suitability to care for the child.

Has the Court completely FORGOTTEN that phrase, 'In the best interests of the children'? What about the Legal verbage in every Divorce Decree regarding Child Support, etc. that says, '...the desires and wishes of the children should colour the visitation arrangements'? Have they forgotten about that too? Your ex - and the Court need to go back and re-read the Divorce Decree.
In other words - NO! you don't need some Psych Eval. - if there was anything mentally wrong with YOU then you wouldn't have custody.
'nuff said.
Harold

My ex's wishes to have full custody is purely driven by her desire to get more money from me. If she succeeds (which my lawyer has said will not happen) then she would not only get more CS money, her alimony money goes up as well. Both are driven by the amount of money I make vs her income (which is basically 0.00) and her total percentage of time with our daughter. Talk about using her kid soley for money!

Well I cant change nor circumvent the court system. I am continueing to fight tooth and nail on this issue. I want, and have always wanted whatever my daughter wants. Nothing more, nothing less.

Thanks for reading
Ice

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Iceman:
<strong>My ex's wishes to have full custody is purely driven by her desire to get more money from me. Talk about using her kid soley for money!
I want, and have always wanted whatever my daughter wants. Nothing more, nothing less.

Thanks for reading
Ice</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Ice Dude, I hear you! Your ex sounds sooooooo much like my ex - NOTHING matters to her but HOW MUCH $$$ she can get from me, and how many antiques and stuff she can pile up - and how much stuff she could take from me - including some measly tools I used to own and was entitled to in our Divorce Decree. And the kidZ - nothing but a 'money machine' for her. She took THEIR Child Support Payments and (dig this) used it to 'make the house payment' as she had the gall to tell my Family! Ha! Guess the Court will never hear about that one...
Just keep on hanging in there - the best WILL finish on top - and that's you!
God bless you, IceMan.
Harold