Probably not. I sure miss my wife. We were good friends. Now it seems we are enemies. Why? My 2 1/2 year old asks me when I'm coming home??? I cry every time. I know I love my wife. I just ask for that one chance. I can't think of another woman. I dream of holding her again. Why did I hurt her? I feel so bad. I pray she'll give me that chance. I know what I did wrong and I know there are places out there for help. I will spend as much as I have.

Can't tell you I haven't thought of it. At least I'm truthful. But, I also think of my two girls and that brings me back around. I know theres life after "D", but I love my wife.

<small>[ October 06, 2002, 05:57 PM: Message edited by: AlanArthur ]</small>

Alan
Been there done that
I too Love my wife and realize my mistakes but it takes two to make or break a marriage, I attempted suicide and now Im glad i failed because of the trauma it would cause my daughter.
if you havent already,I suggest seeing a physciatrist and getting on anti-depressants, they are a tool to help deal with the pain.
good luck, remember your kids still love you and need you

Definitely look into antidepressants, as well as ongoing counselling for you to help you not only cope with the depression, but learn better ways of relating so you won't fall into the controlling behaviors that led to the breakup.

You have a child together with your wife. Even once the divorce is final, there is that tie, so you will have chances to show your W that you have changed, if you truly have changed. How you behave when you negotiate custody issues and when you need to resolve problems your daughter may have will speak volumes-far more than your words will. That's why it is important for you to get professional help so that your actions will say what you want them to-that you love her, that you regret what you did wrong in the past, and that you want a second chance. Even if you get a chance to say all those things in words, if your actions don't match, it won't count. So don't give up hope, but don't cling, either. Use this bad situation as an opportunity to become the man you can be.

Suicide is not the answer, your life is valuable but you need to find that true love and peace, in God. I know you hurt like we all but when we come to end thats when God shows us a beginning. Here's a word to you. Take care.

Jer 29

11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
12 Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you.
13 And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.

AlanArthur-

Totally agree with Elspeth- just remember, your W IS GOING to be angry for a LONG TIME to come. Being aware of this should help you deal with it. You say the 2 of you are enemies now. I there any aggression? Remember, if there is, it comes from a place of hurt, not hate! I would suggest counselling for you, to help deal with the burden of guilt. The sooner you realise you cannot UNDO it, the better for you. Don't agonise over it (I'm sorry, this must be a lot harder to do, than say, I know). The only thing you can influence, is the FUTURE. You have to be realistic: the future may, or may not, include your wife- but there's ALWAYS hope.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">good luck, remember your kids still love you and need you </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">muzohead