My wife and I seperated a month ago. We have had little contact. She filed a little over a week ago. She is angry and will not forgive me for anything. She has a lot of pain. I have been trying plan A. I ahd an EA over a year ago for a month. I came totally clean with it in August (but she already knew) Every arguement we had it was brought up (I know I broke the trust we had) Then she started talking to a guy on the I-net. Of course to her it was less than what I did so it was ok, but she already had things planned (lawyer, bank account etc.) We have been together 7 years (3 married) We have a 2 1/2 year old daughter. Things have been bad this last 1 1/2 years. We have not had joint marriage counseling and she doesn't want it. She did file a restraining order (signed it 2 weeks before I left) served me after I was out of house. She says she has tried, but there are stones unturned here. I feel she is in this "fog". She has a hard time forgiving and I don't really blame her. She feels it has hit a point where it can't survive. I feel it can, because I can change into the person she fell in love with. In Iowa you have 90 days before divorce is final. She is hiding behind her lawyer about everything. I can't see her or talk to her. How will she see changes? Pretty soon time will run out after I've really blown my chances with her. If I don't talk to her for a month and do the things I can to change, should I write her a letter explaining my true feelings? I've always been one of those guys who feels guys are tough (a man is a sissy for being emotional). I have never opened up to my wife. This I regret. The only reason I ask about the letter is that our divorce could be final in December. Any ideas?