I have an opportunity to spend thanksgiving in Las Vegas with my family. My stbx wants to take our son with him to spend it with his family in Florida where we live. I really do not want to take the baby on an airplane for a five hour trip. As I am in the process of getting divorced, would it be wise to go without my son? It's only for three days.

My stbx is planning to go visit some friends in North Carolina without me and the baby next weekend for three days. My Attorney says that as long as he goes on his trip, then it should be okay for me to go with my family to Las Vegas. My stbx and I have an agreement that the baby will remain with him while I am away and I will be with the baby when he is away.

I am afraid he can use my going away as abandonment. Can he do that? The other option is to stay at home alone for Thanksgiving as I am certainly not invited to spend it with my stbx family where we live. I told my stbx that if I were to stay home, I would like the baby to stay with me and he can join his family without the baby.

I don't know what to do. I really want to go to Las Vegas as I haven't had a real vacation since before the baby was born almost two years ago but I don't want my going away for three days to be used against me. Please help me decide what to do!

Hi Babytoluv,

Though I missed my kids horribly, some of my most healing times were when I got away for a bit. Can you draw up an agreement with your stbx so you don't feel frightened about custody and abandonment issues? Are things so bad between the two of you that you feel he may want to keep your son if you leave for a few days? As much as we love our children it's very good for us (and them too I think) to get a rest and have some time for ourselves.

My first Thanksgiving without my children or my family(well really my ex-husbands, but there were my family too)was too much for me to handle. My best friend sent me a ticket to join her in Denver for the holiday and it probably saved my life. Four days at home alone after everything I had been through...I don't know what I would have done.

I hope you can go and have a good time. It's almost impossible not to have a blast in Vegas. Just watch those huge pina coladas...they're killer.

allison

Hi Baby,

We have not heard from you. Is all okay?

I'm fine Sue, thanks for asking. I've been very busy. The baby got sick and I had to take him to the Doctor. It was an infection and the Doctor put him on antibiotics. My stbx and I are tolerating each other. Nothing new is going on or I would have posted.

I made up my mind to go to Las Vegas. My stbx will take the baby with him to his parents house for Thanksgiving. I need a break and after speaking with my Counselor, this may be the last time that I can actually relax and kick back before all of the fun stuff happens.

Thanks for asking though!

Have fun in vegas