Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum
This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at
mbrestored@gmail.com
|
|
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 17
Junior Member
|
Junior Member
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 17 |
W is living with another man and has our kids there too. she says there having the time of there lives. she says its good for them to be around others. she wants a divorce. wants a clean break doesnt want the house doesnt want alamony or anything. just the freedom to do what she wants. i have not meet her needs. i have not paid attention to her for a couple of years. my job is demanding. she never asked me to quit but i think she would have wanted me to but didnt want me to suffer. she wanted me to be happy even if she wasnt. now she cant stay any longer. she wants a divorce and to live with this guy who only works 2 days a week. my heart is broken. i hate my job. i miss my family. im going to try to do plan B in the hopes that she will come back after i have worked on doing some of the things that i always said i was going to do. im learing to play the guitar. im taking dance leasons. im even going to the gym daily to get off the extra pounds. also seing a doctor tomorow to try and get me emotionally well. can someone help me though. can someone tell me love is the most powerfull thing out there? can someone suggest a book on how to heal a broken heart. or how to wait for your mate to come back. perhaps a way to not want to talk to her so much. i didnt realize she was honestly my best friend. she really was... and i didnt even know it. i have no one to tell my day too. to let out some of my fears. no one to hug at night. not even my kids to say i love you daddy then i can tuck them in... why cant i be the way i was before??? why now do i have to see what i had??? why couldnt i see it??? WHY???
books, suggestions, please?
thank you for this sight. and thanks to those who respond.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 384
Member
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 384 |
Wow. I'm kinda where you are now. Exept I left (mutally) No other person involved for either. I miss her and daughter. I got on zoloft....does help takes 2-6 weeks to get into system. You'll probably need a sleep aid....I tossed and turned all night. Get zanex or ambion. SEE A THERAPIST. Not so much for the marriage.....for yourself, you need to keep your sanity. Hang with friends...focus on something. Give her space and act like you don't care. Try to be amicible. Set up visitation. Don't see a lawyer now. Wait at least 3 months or until she does. Change yourself.......Have fun. It's hard. You'll have ups and downs. Go to church and pray. Talk to your pastor or priest and get things off your chest. Don't give her reasons to stay away like I did. Don't pursue, call, write or talk about the relationship...only your kid and finances. She will see its not always greener on the otherside. I hope I can live by my words and my wife sees things clearer down the road. Good luck
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 384
Member
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 384 |
PS: Lots of help books. For your emotional state or saving your marriage? For you get Dr.Phil McGraw's "Self Matters" awesome! Work on yourself. As far as others go to www.maritalemergency.com (look for books) or go to amazon.com I've spent $200 on books. Read 12 this last month. Know alot more than did. Wish I had read them way before separation. GOOD SITE they have people online to help you to. Divorce Busting is a good one and any of Dr. Harley's like his needs, her needs etc.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 3,788
Member
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 3,788 |
I also like Dr Phil's Life Strategies for focusing. Also besides His Needs Her Needs, which is awesome, you should read Harley's book on infidelity.
Also read love must be tough by Dobson. About primarily dealing with adultery. Hard line but if you go into plan B, you will need more ammo. I can quote that book now. Very helpful to see how WS justify their actions.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 459
Member
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 459 |
Ruak, I know your pain. I didn't want a divorce either. I found hope at the follwing site. www.restorem.orgThis site is also very encouraging. http://www.stopdivorce.orgGo read the testimonies. There is no quick fix.It took time for your marriage to get this way and it will take time to fix. don't give up. gentle
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
0 members (),
1,138
guests, and
56
robots. |
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,625
Posts2,323,524
Members72,032
|
Most Online6,102 Jul 3rd, 2025
|
|
|
|
|