Peachy -

Just read your post on the prayer request thread.

I am SO SORRY! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Would it make you feel any better knowing that my Ex is continually calling my house and hanging up when he gets the answering machinie - this makes 5 calls, 2 hang ups - and wait - 3 hang ups.

Now, another call.......

If it wasn't so awful - it would be funny.

Actually, just pick up phone - and it's oldest son crying hysterically - I have never heard him is such a state.

He says that I need to pick him up - ok, I'll send grandpa - get another call back - it's son saying grandpa can't pick up kids.

I get on the phone with Ex and I tell him that I will replay the hysterical message from son to him and that I can't believe he's inflicting this pain on his children.

Ex's response - Why am I the one inflicting the pain?

FOG

So, yes - Exes are BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD.

Hang in there - I'll be praying praying praying for you. We're goign to get through this and be A OK!

K

OK - I just read it to and I am praying for you - I know what it is like to just cry and cry and really loose it - I actually just got my divorce a couple of weeks ago but he still makes me feel like a piece of crap - I mean I basically called his house hysterical and said you make me feel like a piece of sh*t and I cannot believe I stayed with you all of those years - who the heck are you now... I believe that God is in Control has the right idea of no contact no speaking... These exhusbands or exhusbands whatever the case have a habit of twisting things around and making us feel bad.... You are right we are definately worthy of so much more - all of us - and someday I am hoping for no more tears and alot of well deserved happiness for once .... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> So Peach keep your chin up - we will all survive - and maybe like everyone says be a better person for all that we have been through....

MAW64

Steve Harley suggested to me that when WH & I have everything final to go to plan b & that's what I am gonna do.

God Bless everyone on these boards today - seems it's crazy & my kids are going through stuff too.

God
bless,

D.

It is not final for me nor it is coming in less than two months. But I have to stay in B. I can't even give him one more bit of A, because he can become emotionally abusive and change like the weather.

I am still somewhat shaky. I have a thousand things to get done and am so drained yet s haky at same time. Sucks the life outta me. He got the emai from me with no response so far.

Hi NPIGA! I'm sorry this happened to you - just when you thought it was safe to THINK he was a NORMAL member of the human race!
You are woman - as Helen Reddy sang - I know you've heard the song. So that means you don't have to take his screaming and name-calling. Since he wants to act like a child, hang up on his sorry butt. Block his email. Please, don't take any more of his crapola - the first - yes first harsh word or name, etc. TELL HIM SO! The second word... CLICK! Then - this really gets them - take the phone off the hook for about an hour. For the rest of the day or night, if need be. It seems every time you give him a chance to talk like an adult, he shows how STOOPIT he is. Do it. Isolate him from any interaction with you. So you have to meet him to let him pick up/drop off the kids. You can do that - standing in the door as your kids walk over to him. I'm telling you - his BS will keep up until you no longer give him an audience to shout/scream at. It's like something my Dad told me once about an abusive boss - the guy would scream for 30 minutes at you if you made a mistake. Dad told me that if he had a boss like that, "Well, all I can say is, he would be screaming for 30 minutes. The last 29 minutes and 30 seconds he would be screaming at the wall because I would NOT be there."
I never forgot what he said. I had to put that little ancedote into effect when I had moved out of the house and my STBX would shout and scream at me on the phone. It worked every time - on the second word I would just remove the receiver from my ear and set it down on the cradle... No 'goodby' 'see you later' etc. Just... CLICK!
Do it for yourself!
Harold
Hope this helps - you've been miserable enough - don't let him keep doing this crap to you. He will continue to grind you down into the ground and stomp on you every chance he gets - just take that chance away from him. Let Mr. Shaggy Austin Powers WANNABE go scream at somebody else!

DJT==

Thanks friend. I am in radio silence with him. He got my email. He knows I am not going to take it anymore. That I mean it. He is getting his divorce. He is getting that and nothing else from me.

I truly do not understand this behavior. How can someone do a 180 when totally unprovoked whatsoever? Just from zero to a hundred in one point one second.

And I did hang up. After I told him that I would not see nor speak to him anymore and that he can save his sorry's for someone else. I wanted actions from those I care for. That is how they can show me love. He is so lost.

Son said I look bumpy. Son is going to sleep but fighting it now. He is so sweet. And I will not accept any calls, just emails as they are written records of our banter. I will keep all email if at all, short and sweet and only about parenting from now on. It is so funny how he sent me an email about "family values" last week. On one line it said remember when families and both a mommy and a daddy? Other stuff and very nostaglia too. He sent the email to a slew of people. Funny, but two lines of names below mine was EMAIL ADDRESS OF MS. MONKEYHO. Wonder how she liked seeing my email address. Wonder how she liked the part about "when families had both a mommy and a daddy". It was so hypocritical of him to even send that thing out.

Hi Peachy~
Will be praying for you <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
Things will really get better, if i can offer you advice, at least it was the best advice i ever took with my ex, don't even permit yourself to talk to him about anything, unless it pertains to your little one, otherwise, don't give him the time of day. Let him know it is a waste of your breath. If you have to hang up on him, or shut the door on him, whatever you have to do.

That is the only kind of conversation i have with my ex, that is it. I put up with YEARS of cut downs towards me - and some of them were just plain horrible. I NEVER have to put up with that kind of crap from anyone again, and i certainly don't put up with it from the ex.

He still calls here once in awhile to "chit chat" and i put it straight right away. I save my "chit chat" for people that REALLY care!!

Hang in there, it REALLY does get better.