I need all of your prayers. I am also posted under Dodger. I have one month until my divorce is final, It was delayed because of a parenting class. I found out yesterday that my wife had been talking for a month and a half to some guy on the phone almost every day. Sometimes late at night. She says that they are not having an affair. It could be EA. She said that he is a Christian as are we. She said that he is in love with his ex-wife and wants to get back with her. I talked to him and he said the same thing except that he is dating 3 differnt women right now while he is waiting to get back with his ex. I told him it wasn't the Christian thing to do to be talking with my wife while we are separated. We are still married. Please pray for restoration of my marriage. I want it, my children (17 and 8) want it. My wife doesn't. What am I to do. I have been praying constantly. The Lord has granted me this 30 days extension. I need his help and yours. I am begging for my marriage to be saved. We have been married for almost 22 years.

Hi Rtron,
Sorry you're going through this. Have you told people in your local church about what's going on? They will be a great support for you during this time, both emotionally and with prayer. Sometimes the only thing that gets me through a day is knowing my friends from church are praying for me. Of course, people here can pray too, and MB has a prayer forum and there is a prayer thread you can post on too. But I just wanted to make sure you were plugged into a church and can get immediate, in-person prayer from those who really know you and love you.

Blessings to you!

Thanks Avondale25 for the reply. Yes I go to church. I was saved in June. I just talked with my wife 30 minutes ago and she gave me some ground rules. She said that we are still going to get the divorce. She is going to date a little, but does not want a relationship with anybody. She said that she is not going to date the guy she has been calling. She said if I ever want to start dating her again, I need to stop pursuing her and quit being so obsessed with her. She said that I ahve been showing her more attention since we split up than I ever did before. That could be true. I have changed since our separation. Giving her space and time rven if it means a divorce. Is that the way to proceed? I don't really have a choice except that if I pursue her, she'll go away for good. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

I suggest reading "Love Must be Tough" by James Dobson. It is available at amazon.com, through Focus on the Family's website, or possibly by borrowing a copy from someone in your church. (You can also buy a set of CDs which are recordings of his radio program which discusses Tough Love in detail)

This "Tough Love" concept is exactly what your wife is talking about...the more you pursue, the farther it drives the spouse away. Very similar to what here at Marriage Builders is called Plan B.

If your wife thinks you're smothering her, then you just might be. Read up on Plan B here at this site, and check out the book I recommended. They will give you more insight.