Well, I get an email from my X from wherever he is living (he's too "uncomfortable" sharing that information with me) asking me to get on IM when I have a minute.

What does he want?

So, now I have a nervous feeling in the bottom of my stomach about it - like I've done something wrong or have upset him in some way. Which I know is not true.

My friend says "llama, remember you are NOT married to him anymore." But, somehow I still get these nervous feelings.

Can anyone who has "been there/done that" give me some words of encouragement or inspiration? I realy need to shake myself of this feeling.

Hugs,
Llama

Llama - I really have no advice to give you, but, I noticed that you were only seperated 4 months before the DV became final. I had 7 months so I am wondering if you have the feelings that I have sometimes that you still want to be the better person in this and when they start verbally bashing us, we take it personally. Your friend is right we aren't married to him anymore but that doesn't always make it easier.

I don't know how long you were married but I spent more time married to him than I did growing up in my parents house and I now have the ability to know how he is going to react before I e-mail/call him regarding anything.

I also think we want to hear them say that they were so wrong in all this so that we can tell them, To bad. I know that is something that I will probably never hear even if he does realize it because of pride.

Just my thoughts.

Is this a bad dream -
You are so right! read my post, then read yours and I just shake my head. Typically, I can read his action/reaction too, except I don't really know what he wants right now. But, how true - there is something in us that wants to always be the good guy, the polite one. And the truth is - we ARE the good guy, the polite one, etc. He (XH) will never be satisfied with anything I say or do - what would make it any different from when we were married. Thanks for your post.
Hugs,
Llama