The kids were with dad all weekend. Sunday night, 9 year old daughter wanted to call him and tell him something, so I let her. He didn't answer, so she left him a message about liking the cough drops he gave her and wishing him goodnight. 6 year old son also said good night. The next morning at 7 am the phone rings and I don't get to it in time.......it's stbx and he leaves a message saying "this is the children's father. they called and were distraught and upset. I need to know what is wrong, have them call my cell phone immediately." Well, first of all, that's just strange, their message wasn't upset and distraught at all. Secondly, we have a no contact order and he isn't to be calling the house at all.
Well, I didn't have the kids call because we were trying to get ready for school, and of course there was nothing wrong. That night at 6 he calls again.....I didn't answer as we were eating dinner. He calls again 10 minutes later and I realize he won't stop until we answer, so I let daughter answer.....of course she tells him all is fine and then he has to talk to son too.

So what's up with this? I should report the violation of the no contact order to the police, but I've reported phone calls to them so many times and they don't do anything.....I guess since it's non threatening they don't care. But I still think it's harassment. I am thinking I just won't answer any of his calls, or let the kids either, but I'm sure he'll use that against me as proof I'm trying to alienate them from him.

Suggestions?

Annavon-

I'll try to read your other posts to acquaint myself with your story-
Why a no contact order? I assume verbal abuse, or threats on his part? Or just the normal see-saw of conflict over every little thing?

I'm playing Devil's Advocate here, but if you say "no contact", and you allow his D to call and she leaves a message, it's natural for him to try to reply. OK, granted, the message from him is a bit strange, but that's about it. As a rule, discussions w.r.t KIDS, and KIDS issues is FINE. If he's abusive or disrespectful, it's easy to hang up.

I wouldn't limit ANY contact with the kids. He should be able to call them at least every day, just to say "Hi", even if it's for 2 minutes. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

muzohead

Annavon, if yo are serious about the no contact order you should report his calls even if you do not want anything done about it at this time. Reporting it will at least get it recorded by the police dispatch, or detectives whoever you report it to, there should be someone in charge of the order that will note that you reported a violation, but did not request action due to an excusable infringement, even though you know his reason for calling is B.S.
I have two daughters and I would probably find any semi justifiable reason to call them if there was a no contact order, no matter how lame it was, particularly if they had just spent a day with me.

the no contact order is because of his verbal harassment and threats towards me. He has a criminal record, including a felony conviction for armed assault of a police officer and he also beat his first wife. It clearly states that he is not to contact me at any time by phone, email, or in person and not to contact the children outside of their regular visitation. It does not say that the children can't contact him, so I allow them to call him anytime they want to, even though it is long distance for me. Until I left him, he never paid any attention to the children except to spank them and yell at them and they were scared of him.....it is only because there was no documented abuse that I was unable to extend the no contact order to them. Fortunately, they have had good times with him for the most part and I am glad to see him take on a real parenting role for the first time in their lives. On the other hand, I see him continually breaking this order in small ways as a way of disrespecting authority and I'm concerned that he will continue to see this as a power struggle rather than a chance to parent the kids together.
I spent 12 years overlooking the "little stuff" and as a result became his doormat while he did whatever he wanted......I am very afraid that I will be in that situation again, only divorced, if I let him.