Those of you that have gone thru your divorce how did you handle the very emotional splitting of things?

I am thinking particularly about Family Photos, Wedding Photos, expensive porcelain family sculptures, and lastly and perhaps hardest of all Wedding Rings?

I gave her some of the photos but I found it very very hard to do <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Neil.

I kept all of most of the photos, gave my exH some several pictures of our kids, and since the divorce we always share pictures of the kids with each other.
I kept my wedding ring, (and he never wore one <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> I put the diamond on my ring in a necklace, and am still able to wear it.
My ex wasn't a sentimental kind of guy!!

Gee,

I went through all of our stuff. Every single piece of it, through the circumstance of my separation...won't go into it here. But I made sure he got some photos, especially meaningful ones to him and I...the one he LOVED of me and got blown up, the kids births, wth ME holding them, etc etc. He also got a lot of phbotos with just the kids and him or just me and him. I figured at the time that he could have a guilt trip when he came back from overseas....

The thing is that there are very few of the photos that I did not have duplicates for. This was a kind of obsession with him. Whenever we had photos taken, he would get doubles. So it was easy for the most part.

As regards our furniture etc, he requested only a lounge suite and his grandma's stuff, which I gave gladly, though it is still in my possession....in the shed out the back.

There are things in my house with attached memories, and I have considered just booting them into the shed, but they are GOOD memories for me, and surely I and my kids need a few of those too?

As for the wedding gifts etc...unless there was some specifically wonderful thing about them, I just divided them up without a thought. HIS friends' stuff went out, MY friends' stuff stayed in.

Now all this sounds so callous, but believe me, it was damned HARD to do. So I know where you are coming from.....but the strange thing is that the fewer memoirs I have around my house about him NOW, the better for me. I cannot stand to look at some things, so they go in the shed.

You just have to do what is right for you IMHO.

Love and light

Jacky

<small>[ October 11, 2002, 06:46 PM: Message edited by: Nina too ]</small>

Have copies made of the pictures you don't want to give up and give the copies to her. Color copying machines can do a terrific job.

I was the family photographer, and took pictures at every occasion. I went through our pictures (almost 8 years of marriage and 3 kids) and gave him every one with him in them. I also gave him all the ones of us with the OW (my old best friend) and her family. Didn't need those around! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> I didn't give him any of me, just he and the kids.

I left most of the things that we shared as a couple. I really didn't want anything to remind me of the time we had together. He got the bed, the bedroom furniture, the wedding china.....I could've taken it, I guess, but I just didn't want it. I took anything non sentimental. I did leave the picture in our bedroom that had all the things love is, from Corinthians in the Bible, to remind him of how he wasn't. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I kept my wedding ring, resisting the urge to smash it with a hammer. I think it is in a drawer somewhere.

WhoAmINow

Good question! The furniture is easy, but it's hard to even look at the photos to divide them up. I don't think he wants any of them, in fact, he'd taken alot of photos with him, unbeknownst to me, and then I returned them all via a friend. I'm not sure I want any of them either - so hard to look at...

Another sore subject is Christmas ornaments - we used to buy each other new ones every year so they're all sentimental. I haven't put up a tree for two years, though the kids did it by themselves 2 years ago.

H "lost" his wedding ring almost immediately after moving out and then I gave him mine in a letter telling him it was over (he then proceeded to woo me back and string me along for another 1.5 years) and he lost that one too (they were just gold bands engraved inside with the date).

The rings belong to the persons they were given to.

I am moving out on Nov 9. Been thinking all about the dividing of things. I am taking all the photos and at a stronger time in my life, I will sort through them and split them up. I am having trouble with the family pictures on the wall in frames. Wow---I cannot decide what to do with them. Want the kids but not want to look at WS consistently to remind me of what has been lost.

This is so very exhausting. Setting up a household all by oneself. SOOOOOOO many decisions that my head is spinning.

TW

Isn't it amusing how our wS's LOSE THEIR WEDDING RINGS? They just cannot discover where they went?

Anyhow when I moved in here, he came over and attempted to even direct movers as to where to place my furniture. I took most of it, but he having lots of dough, just went out and bought some more for a six thousand sq. ft. home. How c nice. He announced in front of his parents that about our old home back in TN, he had OW looking after it for me. How nice. I went ballistic and marched outta my new home with my gorgeous wedding portrait that a pricey photographer took. Everyone thought I looked like Rachel Hunter in the photo. Took that and the big one of he and I hand in hand leaving the church togehter. Ordered everyone out of my home and placed the two portraits on his bmw. on the hood. Did not care what he did with them. And I am going to sell the platinum and diamond band my solitare was in , but am going to make a necklace w/solitare on platinum strand. Make sure the solitare hits my lower neck region just right. So he will have to see it dangling there.

Well I bundled all the stuff I could find and put it in the garage for her to take away today. I decided I would rather have the house looking bare than look at stuff that reminded me of her.

It was needless to say very painful. There was no joy in it. Saying that I already feel somewhat relieved. It was hard knowing she wasn't there and seeing things that whilst nice were chosen by her.

House misses a womans touch now. I gave her her weddings rings back with a note that it was in anger I took them from her, that I had no right to do so, and therefore was returning them for her to decide what to do with.

Regards Neil.