Married 3 years, together 4 years before marriage.

I had an affair in April 02, wife found out in May. I thought I had fallen out of love with my wife. Jeeze I was messed up. She kicked me out of our home in early May. Been living with friends ever since. Wife filed for divorce in late June.
Thought the other woman was "special". Yeah real special. Finally realized in late August what a wonderful, caring wife I had.
Early Sept I realized that I had to tell my wife that I loved her and wanted to rebuild our marriage. Wife has repeatedly told me "I'm done"

Extract from email from wife:
"I dont trust you.
I dont like your person.
I believe it will happen again.
Besides the affair and the lies, the way you treated me for the months before I found out was horrid. I do not see you as the person i married
I am not the person you married"

My wife is hurting so much...it just kills me to see her in so much pain. She pretty much does not want anything to do with me.

I email her and tell her that we can rebuild our marriage, that I'm willing to go to counseling, what ever it takes. My wife just doesn't want any part of me.

It's hard just getting started each day.

She needs tangible proof that you have changed and are willing to seek help and rebuild your marriage. The only thing I can think of is to start going to counseling by yourself. Tell her you are going to counseling because you love her and want to seek help. You can't expect her to just believe that after everything your word is enough. Read the principals of Plan A too. In your case, it may work wonders. She needs to SEE that you are the man she married and not just hear it. Good Luck. You're a good man who made a mistake.

Thanks. I'm going to counseling by myself and this has opened up my eyes to many issues I had. I'm going to give my wife the proof she needs but fear that it just won't be enough. God I love her so much. I have caused her so much pain. It hurts me so much to see her pain in her words to me. Thanks, I think I am a good man who did make a mistake, and will never do it again. That's a promise I've made to myself forever.

Counseling has taught more about who I am and what makes me happy. My marriage was a great one, I made mistakes along the way. My advice to anyone that would even consider "cheating" is bad idea. The consequences, devastation to your life and the lives of the ones you love and care deeply for are destroyed.

I hope my wife can see that I do love her and I am trying.