Ooooh yuck. I had nightmares for months that my son was watching from the front porch while my husband and the OW packed up his stuff and laughed at him. It's one thing to be hurt...it's a whole different animal to watch your children be hurt.

Phooey. How long is it they're supposed to stay with him? In light of their negative reaction, couldn't your X show a little compassion and limit this first to a day visit?

I've got the same problem...how am I supposed to tell my son to be nice to his new stepmommy...you know, the cheating, homewrecking, brazen wench who didn't care enough about him to leave him with a father?

But the kids DO KNOW...and my new therapist (bit of an anger problem; did you notice?)says it is critical to let the children make their own decisions about Daddy's lifestyle. She says as long as we raise them with standards, morals, and love, that they will be the least damaged later. She says they need to know it's ok to love their father...later they can say "I love my jerk of a father" and be ok with that. I did tell her that if my son did not want to go with his dad I would not make him (and this has happened). It seems to make him more comfortable to know that he's calling the shots. She seemed to think that was ok.

How does your agreement read? Jeez, can you imagine what a nightmare the kids could make the trip? If I were him, I wouldn't DREAM of dragging them off when they didn't want to be there!

Thanks everyone,

I am very drained right now, so I will answer you all when I am refreshed.

Love and light,

Jacky

Hugs, Thoughts, & Prayers parading from the beautiful skies of Kansas to the land down under.

hey sis.

i saw your thread early this morning, when your post was right under mine. i started writing you back, but had to close out and do something. now it's time for me to leave work, but i had to take a minute.

firstly, to aplogize. i am sincerely sorry that i have not been there supporting you. i know you have many supporters, but i still feel like i should have been there for you. i have neglected you and i feel bad...

secondly, to say how sorry i am that you are still going through all this pain. you are a good mother and the kids are very lucky to have you. i just know that they will persevere because of the time, love and patience you put into them. they will make it because of you. and that's a very, very good thing. i guess that's why mother's day is such a biggie... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

i wish i could magically make it all go away. i wish you were no longer feeling this pain. you know i know... <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

won't even go into my mess, but it is a little less messy these days... i know it's hard to e-mail and keep in touch, cuz it's hard for me too... it seems so all consuming at times. i know...

i love you and i am praying for yo and the kids...

all my love kim...