To fill in for those who don't know my story: the night I moved out the sherrif also came and confiscated stbx's hunting guns, as he has a felony conviction prior to my meeting him and can't own them. When they took the guns, they left a list of what they had taken, and the next day my stbx went to the sheriff's office and asked for them back....of course he was told no and that charges might be filed.
Tonite my children came home from their weekend with him and my oldest son said to me "Dad said to tell you he wants his guns back so he can go hunting." Well, you could have knocked me over with a feather! Of course, I don't have the guns; why on earth would he think he did? How can he think he can just get them and go hunting? I'm just totally shocked.....should I do something about this?

Men are such jerks sometimes. I HATE it when they send messages through the kids.

I'd call the sheriff and tell him that stbx wants the guns and give him stbx's phone number. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Well, I wouldn't say men in general are jerks, altho this particular one doesn't think of anyone but himself. I did stop in at the sheriff's office but he wasn't in.....I think I will talk to him about this as he's a casual friend, and just let him know that stbx doesn't seem to "get it" that he can't have guns. I'm wondering if he will get one of his brother's to get one for him, as they go pheasant hunting together every fall. Unfortunately, my son understands that what dad is doing is wrong, and it's very hard on him.

To put the kids through telling the spouse something is terrible. My WH did this with the kids, tell your mom that she is wasting money on the lawyers, tell your mom that she is to not pack his stuff away, tell your mom not to buy anything expensive. This got so old, and I did tell my lawyer, but you know what, he has stopped most of it, and the technic was to tell your authority, which I did, (attorney) and I ignored what he said through the kids. It got old, cause no response is what needs to be dealt with. When they use their kids, is the meanest trick of all. They are destroying trust in their children, showing their kids who is the childish ones, and making a a**hole of themselves. The counselor told me this too.

So if the kids say something, just say I heard you, and go on to another subject as quickly as you can. Talk about a coming event with the kids at school or something. So that the kids acknowledged that you heard, and make nothing more of it. Yes, tell your attorney if you have one. They will handle the rest. Or if the sheriff is a good friend, maybe tell them, but it is better coming from authority. To have it in record with your attorney is better for you with the judge.

Yes, I have found that men become real jerks and don't care what they do to control you. Just remembrer it gets worse, so I have developed a defense that is working for me. You can to, and get ideas with a counselor. I am seeing a counselor for battered wifes, and this has helped me tremendously. The new counselor I am seeing, has been doing this for almost 20 years, and she is good. She talks about controllers, and my WH is a good specimen of her talk.