The problems of my marriage stem from my dishonesty (not from affairs or abuse). As I have admitted here and to my wife, I have been dishonest with her for a long time, mainly about financial things. I am in therapy to deal with these issues and am embarking on a journey into complete and total honesty.

Here is my quandary. My therapist has told me that exaggeration, generalization and omission are all the same as lies. However, I am also being told to "take it like a man" and not react to my wife's anger (since that anger is a direct and natural response to my failings). I am doing quite well with the "take it like a man" part and the not telling lies part. But part of the "taking it like a man" is not telling her how I feel about her pointed anger and yelling. If I withhold these things, am I not just committing a lie of omission. If I tell how I feel, am I failing to "take it like a man?" At what point do I step away from the radical honesty.

There has to be some middle ground. There has to be some circumstances where the radical honesty needs to take a back seat to letting her vent her anger without telling her how I honestly feel.

Any advice will be greatly appreciated.

Thanks,

T