maw-

Good for you!!! You have just stopper the roller coaster ride. Now you need to stay off of it!! Go to the next ride...called your future.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Doogie - you are correct as much as it pains me - he is now my past and I must look forward - there is no turning back in this case.... Thank you again... Off to the next stage of my life... Mimi

Dear MAW,

My case are a bit similar to yours. My ex don't want to take away his stuff out of our apartment and always said "yes...yes I will". But never.
So, one day I just pack his stuff in carton and move to his son girlfriend's home. And ask her to contact my ex about his stuff is in her appartment.

Of course, ex call me and want to talk to me...but I just hang up the phone. When he call again and said "hello", then I hang up the phone. I know myself very clear, if I talk to him again, I will listen to him...getting weak.I hate this
come again and again.

He has other woman and now is living together with that woman. I feel jealous at the beginning. But now I am not. Because I know I am the best.
You should think on this way also, if not, why your ex ask for your help if he can get help from other owman. He cannot find other woman like you.

My husband was out of work for 4 years and I am doing my best on these 4 years for everything in our home. And in this year May, he told me he has an affair. He want to come back and start plan A...but he come back and leave in these 5 month.
I get mad....sick and tired for these all. So, on 02 of Oct., I ask him leave my appartment and after that when he call me I hang up the phone.

You have to start a new life. No one can help you but yourself. You will feel difference without him in your life. The feeling of peace. You need to find other Mr. Right. and carry on your life.

My devoice still not final but I want to have a new life. Surely, he will not in my new life.

Gloria

Gloria - thank you so much for your reply - I know that I need to let go and that I will be better off without him and that I deserve better - but still it is hard.. I wish I was as strong as you and could just hang up the phone when he calls but again - I am somewhat of a wimp when it comes to him - he gets me all confused and thinking that this is my problem that this happened because of me and it has nothing to do with his affair - but in my heart I know this is not true - he has betrayed me and does not want nor did he ever want to work it out - he was just never man enough to say that.... I appreciate your input - thanks again - and good luck with your new life...

Dear MAW,
I am not as strong as you think. It's hard/hurt when I hang up his phone. But I cannot find other way to protect myself. If your husband keep doing these to you, one day, you will like me and said "enough is enough".

My ex said the axactly the same as your husband "it's all my problem that this happened because of me and it has nothing wrong with him" My ex even said, "why you cannot forgive me as this affair just a passion.....just an affair".
He think an affair lead to devoice is over reaction. But I told him "you give me nothing in these 4 years but love. When the affair happened that means you destroy and take the love back".

How about your friend and family, do they support you? Try to talk to them....I spoke to my friends ll the problems and they support me to devoice my husband.

Of course, I feel lonely when I am home alone, but lonely will not hurt me as my ex did.

Yes, I also write a "big note (on the paper)" and put on the wall.Which about how my ex hurt me and all our problems. These remind me don't do it again. And I also come to MB to read other cases and I know I am not alone.

Anyway, my ex stop call me since 10 Oct., and I still miss him. But I told myself....be strong. Hope this will help you.

Gloria

Gloria - thank you - Yes I know I need to be strong - but I also have two children with him - so I need to talk to him and unfortunately for me I need to see him - he is constantly blaming me for everything but somehow I really know now that this isn't my problem - that know matter what happened I did not deserve to be betrayed like this - I am basically pretty much a sucker in trying to make him feel better and basically not listening to my own feelings which is becoming my problem - I really just want to wake up tomorrow and not give a crap about him - but I need to get stronger - I mean I am strong I am taking care of my house, pets, kids working a fulltime job - but when I am alone I tend to crumble - which is what I need to stop doing - So I am trying - I talk to my friends and family and everyone has been quite supportive - so again I believe this is just a matter of time... Thank you again for your kind thoughts.. Mimi

It has been almost 2yrs for me now and the ride has slowed down but it hasn't come to a stop yet. I don't know if it will ever stop or not.