After 8 D-days the W "appears" to want to start over even though she has never used those words. She just says it's over with the OM and here are the steps WE have taken:
1. She has not responded to his attempted calls.
I have lots of v-mails of him trying to get
her to talk to him.
2. She had her work number changed so he couldn't
call her direct. He can still get to her thru
main switchboard, if he really tried.
3. We BOTH had PPO's done on him (at my
insistence). He has also threatened me, that's
why I did one.

W has said in the past she doesn't MEAN to hurt me but she has repeatedly. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> My IC (who is also our MC) told me in my last session that if W doesn't SINCERELY say she is sorry for all of this, then I should file for D. He has noted that her past appologies are very shallow. I also am tending to believe that W is only with me cause she picked the "wrong guy" and she is scared to be 'out there'. Over this last 1 1/2 years, W has tried to manipulate my feelings by becoming overly affectionate to cover up her deceit.
She knows that I am hurting but when I talk about it, she says "I felt the same way last year", not "I'm sorry".

After all the lies and all the hurt, I am doubtful that she is staying with me for the RIGHT reason...LOVE. I don't want anything less than that. What can I believe from someone that has killed what love I have left?

I am on the other side in my situation. My failure to meet my wife’s emotional needs though I promised repeatedly to improve causes my wife to not trust my words. Though I meaningfully said I am sorry, my actions did not prevent her from being unhappy in our marriage. Doubt is a hard beast to overcome. Words will not be enough. The actions are more important. Does she treat you better now? Will she work through the steps presented on this site? I hope she opens herself to you and you find she is truly repentant. I can not say what is in her heart, and pray she has returned to make your marriage a success and both your lives better.

<small>[ October 29, 2002, 12:43 PM: Message edited by: Fallen Papa ]</small>