Tri-10 > I know how you feel. I was injured on a job in 1990. Had 3 surgeries on my arm. Limited lifting cause of weakened arm, and unable to work in nursing.
What (I feel) your husband is dealing with is anger, towards the physical harm done to your body. My husband expressed a lot of what you are dealing with. Whatever you do, is not right. During counseling, the counselor that we were seeing (his name was the same as my H), told me that my H was getting at me with anger, for not knowing how to deal with the injury. He didn't know who to get, so he was getting at me. This is what your husband is doing.
You 2 need to go to counseling, one that works with disabililties. I was told by the counselor that I am seeing, is that we should of gone to counseling with this background. They deal with issues deep inside, that help with one person having a hard time dealing with injuries.
Just the day before, Christopher Reed was on the TV. He and his wife said, if it wasn't for counseling and dealing with his disability, they would of not made it. He admitted he will never be able to breathe on his own, and has he ever aged. His wife was there for him, and she said with help of counseling and family, and God, she has made it.
They said, that when the wife becomes injured, it is more difficult for the man to accept. Vice versa, the willingness is there for the wife to protect and guard the man. She is more than willing to be the support system, statistics show that this is true. This is what you are finding, the man has deep anger, deep hurt, and doesn't know how to show it. I have realized my H did the same. When we would make love in certain positions, it would hurt my arm, and I could hear a sigh of guilt or hurt on his part. Then I would say, its okay, and sometimes we would resume or he would say not now.
Most men wants a woman to be there totally for him. He wants a woman when he wants sex, wants food, wants conversation, wants cuddling. Some men look at their wife with negative eyes when there is an injury, or a caution light goes off.
I am so sorry for your pain, and hurt. All I can say is pray, and get some counseling. This is not your fault, you were injured, and you have to deal with the pain every day. He works hard, but some men don't realize the pain you are suffering day to day, hour to hour. This is incomprehensible for some men, and it hurts your heart. I am so sorry. I will pray for you tonight in my prayers. God does love you.
