I've been known my H for 10 years and married for 9. We have a 6 yo daughter. It has always been a rocky relationship. Initially the problem was my MIL, then he didn't want children, then he didn't want to work. I cannot stand it anymore. He does not talk to me or treat me affectionately. He even told me that he considered sex with me "casual sex" that had no meaning for him. I have decided to file for divorce. I feel so drained. Any little thing makes me cry. Not because I love him, I don't. I just have no energy left. We still live in the same house. I have requested him to leave but he will not. He has moved out of our bedroom though which has been great. Thanks for listening

Yes to make the move to file is difficult to do. I know I was forced into filing for the D first. I cried for almost 2 hours. My lawyer was thoughtful and said cry. He let me cry on his shoulder, and said take your time. I couldn't even sign the paper work right away. I had to walk outside for a long time. They had hot tea for me, and a sandwich when I came back. I still hated that I filed, but there was no other choice. Through abuse, and basllistic attitude of my WH I was forced to file.

You will cry, crying happens quite often, let it out, let the pain out. This is going to hurt. Spend time with your daughter, 6 years old is great. Go to the library, read books together, make lunch dates together. Do things with her, and don't cry with her. Let your crying happen with your friends, and here. Vent here all you want. We can listen, and maybe help. Yes, what you are feeling hurts big time.

Ruby1,

I just did a post of my own in the Divorce section and it sounds just like yours. I'm also physically drained and emotionally a basket case. I haven't been able to concentrate on work for over two months now. I cry often. My body is physically drained because of the lack of sleep, loss of weight, and overall stress of the whole situation. I think I'm catching a cold too.

Since I live in California my D will take a minimum of six months to process. More than likely it will take 8 - 12 months.

I feel your sadness, I feel your tears. I wish I had something positive to say but I can't right now. I guess we both need to keep our chins up and know that God made us for a good reason. We do have value in His eyes and this value is more important than what any single person can bestow on us.

Thanks for the support guys. My marriage has never really been great and many times before I wanted to get out but somehow I always took the easiest path and stuck with H. I don't want to do this anymore. I feel like life is passing me by. I think I will need a lot of support during the next few months. I haven't cried in front of my daughter at all but she has become very tearful as well. She cries about tiny things.
My parents stayed in a miserable marriage for 35 years "just for the kids sake". My sister and I were relieved when they finally seperated. I don't want to make the same mistake but sometimes it breaks my heart to see my daughter upset. I have been so unhappy and lonely in my marriage for such a long time, I don't even know what I should be feeling about the divorce. I thought I would be relieved when I made the final decision. Somehow I'm not. I'm confused and very very tired. Working usually helps me keep my mind off my own worries and helps but I am so tired, I don't feel like working.

Ruby,

I am fairly new to this site and have very little experience in all these matters. I am still struggling trying to save my M. But, anyway, I don't really know your situation but I found a good site today you may want to take a look.

Dr. Dobson's Focus on the Family

Additionally, I found a brochure they offer regarding considerations for divorce:

Should I Get a Divorce?

As I said, I don't know your entire situation and I hope that these links prove useful to you. Sometimes, we (men), need a good shake up to give our wonderful wives all they deserve.

I am sorry you are going through all this.