I have been divorced for sometime now. I met this wonderful lady a couple months ago and we have been seeing each other ever since. We get along great, we share the same dreams in life. Here is what I want to know about. She has been divorced for 4 years and she told me that she was hurt when all this was going on. she doesn't know if she can let her guard down for anyone. she has a hard time trusting. I respect her for telling me all of this up front. i told her that just because one man hurt her doesn't mean that all men are bad, she said that she understood that. she just wasn't willing to allow herself to be hurt again.. Is this something that can be delt with over time in a new relationship? Do you think that she has built walls around her heart to protect herself from being hurt agian?
Please respond, I care for this lady a great deal.

Take it slow, slow, slow! As a woman, I feel the same way. I don't want to risk this kind of pain ever again. I know I won't date for a long time. However, I know as do all logical, healthy people that not everyone is the same and it's not fair to stereotype all men...after all, bad women had as much to do with my divorce as a bad man! I truly hope that someday someone comes along that cares enough about me to make the effort to change my mind. I don't feel, in retrospect, that my X ever made any extra efforts toward me at all...I made it so easy for him! If someone ever truly wants to love me I will probably be blown away...

I made a promise to her that I wouldn't push the issue. Lets nature take it's course. I can tell that she likes me alot also and she has told me that she respects me. True we need to take it slow. I was just wondering if there was away to show her that she can trust me, and that I would never do anything to hurt her the way she has been hurt in the past.

"A man's true character is not in his words but in his deeds". Next time, I want one that doesn't talk so much but listens more, that cares more about what I think than how I look, that really enjoys doing the same kind of things I do instead of just suffering through it, that won't put me on a pedestal (you always have to fall off sooner or later), that knows his tools and isn't afraid to use them, that knows his thoughts and isn't afraid to say them, that takes pride in a job well done, and that realizes love is not a competition to who's done what for who last, but that really, really WANTS to be there when I need something.

That's all I know!