deleted.

<small>[ October 28, 2002, 08:45 PM: Message edited by: Not My Will, But Thy Will Be Done ]</small>

Well, there are a lot of concerns here. How long have the 2 of you been divorced? You should allow yourselfs time for grieving your marital breakup. According to what I have read, approximately 2 years is a good time. Also, you both are inherently dealing with meeting each others needs, of the recent loss of a marriage. Don't feel you two really know each other that well, haven't given yourself time to find yourselfs totally. The feeling is, you cannot have a friend (persay) of the opposite sex without it dwelling into a intimate relationship. Otherwise, we would not have all these affairs. As you can see by your post,you are wanting more than a friendship. Sounds like she wants to keep herself distant for a reason, and it could just mean that she needs time, and you should probably give her the time needed.

The feelings are there, she is meeting your conversations, I would assume admiration is there and all that. But you need to SLOW down, take it easy, maybe C++Guy, a trip would be better for you, take and do something you really like to do. There seems to be a big red flag flying over your thread. I would be cautious, and sit back. Just my opinion, yeah it feels good to have someone recognize you with positive words, yes, I would love that too, but there is something about this that does not seem right. Just my point, and I maybe all wrong.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Not My Will, But Thy Will Be Done:
<strong>... she can come up with a thousand excuses why we probably would not work.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This, to me, sounds like she's saying she's not yet ready to try and see if it will work. She may be saying she's ready to try because she thinks she 'should' be ready -- but inside doesn't feel it. Just my instincts.

I must agree,
To me, it sounds as though she is not ready and that you should listen to her. Because no matter whether you think you are ready and that you think that her excuses are just that, excuses. It doesn't matter. Because remember, it takes two to make a relationship and you both have to be willing and comfortable with EVERYTHING that you are doing. I just don't hear that she is comfortable, or she wouldn't be so apt to make these excuses/reasons.

And it actually worries me a bit that you sound as though you don't agree with her, and want to find a way to "talk her into meeting". I don't know, but it almost looks like you are trying to figure out a reason to meet face to face that over-rules her reasons for not meeting.

Anyway, I think that if she is hesitant in the least, that you should continue on with what you are doing. If this is not something that you are willing to do, then this is the time to find out rather than later. If you both aren't compatible enough to both wholeheartedly decide to meet, then I hold little faith than any higher level could be achieved. However, who knows, if you back off and give her some more time, some more comfort, maybe she will change her mind and in a few months she may be the one initiating the meeting.

Just thinking out loud.