Today I met with my Attorney because she received an answer to my Petition. Well so much for the amicable divorce. My stbx wants the world and then some. He wants to have primary residence of our son which means that I would have visitation (yeah right) and for me to pay his Attorneys fees and support him since he is not working. My Attorney told me that I don't have anything to worry about because we can fight this and this is just the beginning. We have a good Judge who is friends with my Attorney and my stbx's Attorney is from the next County over and is not familiar with the Attorney's in the County we live in which is a plus for us. My Attorney warned me that this is going to be costly and a custody battle as well. I knew this wasn't going to be easy but I didn't think he would fight. He lied to me when he said he wanted this to be amicable. I think his mother put him up to this.

Should I be worried and what is the next step?

Have you been documenting as we have suggested? I think it is rare when a man gets alimony and custody of child. However I could be wrong. He just wants to be free of you, but he does not want to have to get a job to support himself.

I don't know how things work in Florida. I know in my state, the mom usually gets the kids. Unless there is a very good reason why the mom does not. Also in my state, they usually go with joint custody as a standard, unless there is a very good reason as to why sole custody should be granted to the mom.

By the way, his idea of amicable was the he would tell you what he wanted and you agree to it. Remember, he is controlling. Stay strong.

He is the one who said he wanted the divorce, so, why should you have to pay for his attorney.

<small>[ October 30, 2002, 07:59 PM: Message edited by: Sue with hope ]</small>

It's early in the ballgame, I wouldn't worry all that much. He's playing the game and jockeying for a position..... asking for the world, hoping that he'll get more than he really expected by asking for so much upfront. Don't give in to his fantasies.
Unless there is a good reason for your son NOT to live with you (previous record of abuse, drinking, drugs) it is doubtful that that idea would be entertained by the courts. Generally speaking, you would have the advantage in providing the primary residence. If your son is old enough (10+) they might ask him his preference in living arrangements if custody is an issue.

He probably is being led by his attorney, etc to ask for so much though.. to use as bargaining chips. Don't give into it..... hang on tight to what you know is yours.

Good luck

Because I am working and have been in the same job for seven years and he is going to school to get another degree because he lost his job, am I going to have to support him. My salary has supported us (me, stbx and our son) while he went to school. He want's the divorce. Why should I have to suffer? My salary doesn't cover all of the bills and his mother gives him a check every week while he is in school.

I'm in Florida. Will a Judge actually award him spousal support and attorney's fees? My parents are helping me pay for my fees. They can't afford his Attorney as well. This is a nightmare!!!

Btw, my son is 14 months old and can't talk yet, thank God!!!

Because I am working and have been in the same job for seven years and he is going to school to get another degree because he lost his job, am I going to have to support him. My salary has supported us (me, stbx and our son) while he went to school. He want's the divorce. Why should I have to suffer? My salary doesn't cover all of the bills and his mother gives him a check every week while he is in school.

Florida is a no fault state....In Michigan where I live, the samething.Don't sweat it,but like my dad says don't underestimate either be one step ahead of the game!!! wRITE DOWN EVERYTHING.What is the visitation for the little one,does dad take the baby everyother weekend?
I have a 17 month old...how is your little one handling this?
Your stbx may want to fight it out in court...he'll waste HIS MONEY!!! They will not take a baby away from it's mother,unless he has been abused.So no worries..my stbx tried to get me to pay as well,he didn't win ANYTHING HE WANTED!!!!
Be strong......I can send you some web site info if you like.
I'm not sure on the detail of your situation,was there an affair? Is he living with or spending time with another women? If so you can get it where he can't take your baby around anyother women.
The judge will most likely say to him go to school less hours and get a job,or his mommy will diss out his money...like my stbx's family is.

YES!!! Please send me some website info. I can use all the help I can get. My son is handling this well. I don't see how this is affecting him. The only time I see anything is when my stbx yells in front of him.

Unfortunately, stbx and I are still living together. He won't move and I'm not budging. I want the house so he is going to have to leave first. I suspect his Attorney is advising him not to do anything yet.

There is no other woman that I am aware of. This all started when my stbx stated that he didn't love me anymore (out of the blue) and wanted a divorce. I filed first to have an advantage but there is no chance of reconciliation. My stbx is adament and wants me out of his life.

Florida Divorce

Divorcenet

Divorce Source

Hi Baby,

Hang in there. I'm glad to see you are getting support from others who can be of more help than I can.