Hello Everybody,

Pretty new around here but I have been reading alot. Divorce seems to be calling me, everytime i think about my Marriage and all it's been thru Divorce looks better everyday, and When I don't think about it for a day or two somethings happens or appears to make me see that light. I,ve been on the other boards as you see I found out H was having and A, but instead of telling me there were things he wasn't happy about he chose someone else who I say he fell hard for, he says he didn't but stayed with her for a few months still seeing me and communcating with me, so I feel I let him have his cake and eat it too but I was hoping it would all help us. But I can't seem to get divorce off my mind, I do still care but What he has done there no way to fix it, no way for me to accept thinking about accepting it all makes me sick to my stomach, so many issues. I would like some third party inputs , bcz family and friends are really great but could be very one sided. I feel he is trying to get back in my life but only so i will accept all his affair's and now OC that he told her to keep!! been together 13 years, second time I found out about affair but decided to fess up to others and afew one niters, just when that wasn't enough, OW gets pregnant. please feel free to offer up some suggestions. Yes divorce will be hard but staying together i feel will be harded. I do want him to be around especially for the kids, but he finally broke the camels back.

Jill

JL-

I'm sorry you're having to deal with all of this as I can relate as a "recovering" BS. The one thing I pray for when I read stories like yours is that, some day, God grants you the ability to forgive and move on, whether it be with your H or not. I would suggest that, unless you're certain you want a D, to lay down some rules of no contact with this OW and seek counseling ASAP.

Good Luck- G

I am so sorry Jlady,

I have no words of wisdom. Nothing. Just my opinion and what I would do in this instance. I don't think that he has it in him to stop what he has done. And now, it no longer affects just you and him, he will have a child that will be out there with or without a father. The man that can do this in my opinion is utterly beyond anything that I could ever cope with.

I would divorce him quickly and firmly. It is hard enough to try to live with a betrayer. But I could never look at a man that would shirk his responsibility to his child. And I could never look at a man that had another child while in my life.

I am so truly, truly sorry, but the other child is the unrecoverable thought for me.

I'm probably not the best person to be on a Marriage Builders forum. My H begged forgiveness, and I really tried...but he was such a different person to me after that. To know he could do that to me, to our son, and to one of his good friends (his wife)...I finally broke out of my own fog and started seeing our marriage in a realistic light. His faults, and they were many, didn't seem so trivial after that. Finally, even with therapy, a year and a half later, he did the same thing again. He told me this time that he'd been lying to me and to our therapist about how he felt about me. It was a relief to see him go. I wish I could say I feel good about "doing the right thing", but really I wish I'd pitched him out the first time. I wasted years of my life...and now I'm so excited about THE NEW ME....