Ok All, need some feedback on this one.

After a rollercoaster of abuse about how bad I was my WS now sends me love texts and says she wants to come home. Of course there's no answer to the question "How can I ever recover?" from her and I do not want her back.

However she is asking for more money for her bills. At present I pay her some $600 a month for food for the children when she looks after them which is daily. She also works and gets a similar amount from her employment. She lives with OM2. She says she wants another amount to help with the bills.

In truth I do not pay her as much as a child minder would cost ($800). I spoke to my solicitor and she advised me that it would be ok in the divorce courts view to give her this.

What do you think? My wife is clearly trying to manipulate. She spent yesterday morning telling me how bad I am (the BS x 2) and last night crying that she was in love with me and was angry and wants to come home. And yes she did get the kids who were with her at the time to ask me to take her back.

I know MB should be about repairing the M, but I cant. I have no love left. I have followed Steve H's plan to the letter and I know that I cannot repair, as he and I anticipated.

I want her off my back as far as possible. Money and her bills seem to be the only thing stopping that (strange for someone desperate to come home yes?). So should I go ahead and give it?

Best Wishes Neil.

Hello - love texts!!! When did this start to happen!!

Look Neil, I don't know much about anything, except that your hurt and pain is incredible, and if I am right, you have decided that, after all your efforts and even though it is very painful, divorce is the way forward. This is also something that you have followed through with Steve H, using MB priciples.

If this is truly your answer, and you feel she is manipulating you, you need to put a stop on that for your own sanity. If you feel $800 (what's that about £500) is fair (given what your Solicitor has said), then pay it.

Perhaps you can also send her a letter at the same time, agreeing that she needs more money towards the girls, but that given everything that has happened between you, although you love and care for her and it makes you terribly sad, the D is going ahead.

It's a horrible time I know, but you have to care for yourself and your children primarily.

Take care.

Lisa

P.S. My spin was great! Keep looking for excuses to go out in the car!!

The "I love you and want to come home" texts came after all the Neil is an evil person who doesnt give me money texts yesterday.

Neil.

Neil...

Not knowing much about the situation.. but I am sure she still has feelings. And is confussed about what she wants. If you truely feel that everything has been done to save your M... then you should tell her this. You have to think about yourself in all of this.

The extra money hopefull is to be spent to provide for the girls.. and not anyother reason. But if the courts will find it necessary to pay it.. then avoid the trouble. But make if plain why you are giving her the funds. Not leading her on to think there might be hope, if there clearly isn't any.

Good Luck.

Well in the end after talking to the Lawyer I am now paying WS as a Child Minder so I did increase her monies a bit (bout $150).

Of course she started again about how I had "given her up to another man" (OM2) and wasn't taking responsibility for her which was a crock to hear. Particularly when I heard it via my crying 10 year olds and "why wont you let her come home daddy?". Talk about Manipulation.

I didn't care about Plan B that night I rang her and ripped right into her. I said things that I had to apologise for the next day, not because I didn't mean them but because otherwise my kids would get the backlash.

No knowledge yet as to whether she has the Divorce papers, I guess she isn't going to say and I will have to wait for the court to confirm. It's much better for me though at the moment.

Regards Neil.

Hi Neil

Just popped over here to see how things are for you at the moment.

I am glad to hear you sorted the money side of things, but not the other news. OK, so you rang up and gave her grief, put it behind you now. You are after all only human and seeing your girls so upset must be really hard.

Stick with it, and remember the daily mantra.

Is the weather awful today or what?!?!?! Had to go and meet a prospective new customer this morning and walked in like the proverbial drowned rat!!

Lisa