Does Marriage Builders help us divorced people get a better grip on what marriage should be like and what we can do to avoid the same mistakes if we marry again?

My first marriage to my high school sweet heart ended after 13 years. He became mean and controlling and abused alcohol and our first son, so I left and gave a him chance to straighten out via counseling. He wasn't willing, he divorced me and is remarried. I found out later he cheated on me, I suspected it but never was sure.

I later remarried, I totally trusted him (I know, big mistake), but discovered an affair after 5 yrs. of marriage. He admitted to cheating on me with 8 different women, they were "casual", but this last one was "true love". He wouldn't stop staying out all night to be with her and after a few weeks of this I asked him to leave (4 years ago) because the stress of waiting for him to come home was causing me to lose work (I had to work because he didn't have steady income and it wasn't much), he gladly left and I've not seen him for 2 1/2 years even though we have a 9 yr. old son.

My question is this. What do I do now? I don't see him ever coming back; I'm not even sure I want him to because the last time I saw him he was soooo messed up and now into very weird spiritual things that are basically against Christianity. I don't mind getting a divorce but I think I'm kindof afraid.

Because I'm looking beyond that. I've not gotten this marriage thing right twice. I chose not-so-great men. The mistakes I made in my first marriage that I thought I resolved, the resolutions became problems in my second marriage...like the first time around I didn't communicate my feelings and wants and dislikes, so the second time around I did and my husband thought I was always telling him what he did wrong. He was the non-communicator. I'm so confused and afraid to even think about getting involved with a man again because I've not done well with the two. But I think marriage is wonderful, I have lots of family members who've been married for years and I see how great it can be.