First of all, Cjack, I don't believe that there is ever any person who is out of anothers league. It is all in how you perceive yourself. I know that I have recently met several very beautiful women, inoccently at this time. And I feel very good about how I was with them. I don't believe that there is any person who is not worthy of another simply because of their looks or profession.

Anyway back to good things...

Been a couple of days since I posted. I was lost running around with my boys over the last few days. But my good things are some of the same things that I have been having for a while. I just keep being grateful for my job and my input into my patient's lives. I am thanked over and over again, and I am so thankful that something I can do is worth someone taking the time to say "Thanks".

I have made a somewhat 'New Year's' type (I don't make them, but this is similar) resolution in that I have made a strong attempt at no longer procrastinating. I have become a terrible procrastinator over the last few years and I hate it. I have cleaned up a ton of things over the last few days that have been hanging over my head for quite some time.

OK - I understand it's Friday, but I think we are just kind of blowing this off. I know somedays I'm not able to really find something that is exceptional to post but we need to keep this going for everyone.

Good thing that happened to me today.
I talked with the mortgage company regarding the closing on the condo that I'm purchasing. Everything seems to be a go and told her that X is closing on a house in Dec. and her response was "Well he isn't going to file Bankruptcy before that then". I told her no and she stated that she would pull my credit report the end of this month and we should be all set. Plus, I love that they lowered the interest rate again. Every little bit helps.

Another good thing - Is it's Friday and I have a whole weekend to spend with S and just hang out and bake cookies and go to the museum and not worry about work or anything else.

Come one everyone - I know there is some one else out there that had a good thing happen today.

It just gets better and better everyday! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

First off, work has totally changed. We went through a management change, and the new guy in charge is the total opposite of our former, dictatorial boss. There is a lot more work to do, but I'm actually looking forward to work now.

Second, I just got back from spending an hour or so with the woman I mentioned earlier. We were just at the playground watching her daughter play with other kids. A simple, no-cost date that just solidified what I noticed about her before...she's great!

I have another date with her on Tuesday. I used my connections to get us into a very exclusive after-party for a celebrity golf tournament that our company is sponsoring. I told her about it before our date today, and as we were walking back to the car, she asked what time it was, and then asked if I still wanted to take her!

Like she wasn't sure I wanted to see her again. Duh!

Pardon me while I go try to wipe this silly grin off my face!
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Let's see -

2 1/2 days of sunshine this week. Started on Thursday afternoon.

I told son I would try to protect him better (see my thread about my children) and he hugged me and gave me a kiss.

And I called the hotel about the hot tub party. They are finishing extensive renovations and should be ready for us. They are to call me this week and let me know if the hot tub enclosure will be ready. If it will, it looks like we're on track for the hot tub party/shindig/get-together.

I have been as guilty as anyone about not posting here, but I have found a couple of things today that brightened it a bit.

First of all, I HAVE A WASHER AND DRYER !!!

No more launro-mat for me. hehe

Second, I went to church tonight and had 13 little kindergardeners to work with. They always bring a smile to my face. My boys are with my wife, so I havn't seen them much over the last few days, and seeing all those little faces relieves that pain somewhat. I am so glad that I am teaching those little kids during Bible class. At first, I was worried that it would take to much of a committment, however, it has truly been a blessing for me. I get so much more out of it than I put into it.

A couple of friends from my Divorce class asked me to go have supper with them after church. I almost didn't go, I don't know why, but I decided to go and we had a great time. Just sitting and talking about anything and everything.

Probably the best thing that happened to me lately was a phone call that I received from a friend. On Fridays, I pick up my youngest son at about 11 am, after a half day of school. We go have lunch together and then goof around or whatever. I had asked my wife if I could pick up my oldest boy as well after he was out to just see them both for a while since it is her weekend with them.

As I sat there picking him up at 2:30, he came out with a friend that both my wife and I had when we were together. She said that she had asked my son to come to her house to play with her children. I was a little sad, because I wanted to spend some time with them, but I could see that my boys wanted to go with their friends so I said sure. She kept saying it was OK if I didn't want them to go, and it wasn't that I didn't want them to go, I just wanted to be with them as well.

Well, I goofed around after they left, and when I got home she had left a message on my answering machine. She thanked me for letting the boys come over, and she said very sweetly, that if I ever needed anything at all, or last minute babysitting or whatever, that I could call her and she would be glad to help out in any way she could. She said there is no reason that we should change just because of what is happening between my wife and me.

Now you have to understand, this was perhaps the most important phone message I have ever received. I tear up just thinking about it. I don't know. I guess it just represents the fact that I am not that bad of a guy. I know that I am not, but it really means alot to me to hear this from some of our old friends, more so her friends, than mine.

I know that they have no clue about what has gone on. Or if they do, it is because of what she has told them and I KNOW that her repeated infidelity was not mentioned by her.

Well, it has been an interesting few days, that is for sure.

Got the biggest hugs from my boys today. Took some clothes over to my wife's house for them, and my little boy squeezed me so hard I thought I would pass out. Then my oldest boy came over and gave me a big hug as well. Oh, how I do love my boys.

Great things for the day...

Well, I'm pretty silent most of the time cause I'm working hard and enjoying every minute of it -- for that I am thankful.

I'm also thankful and ever so grateful that you were all here when I had a meltdown a couple of months ago. Honestly....I didn't know if I would have made it through if it wasn't for you all -- so I humbly thank you...even though you don't know me well from my posts, you all reached out in the midst of your own *stuff* to help me. Thank you! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Thank you <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> Thank you! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

The best is seeing how you all reach out and help the newbies that come along...and even if not so new, I always learn something new every time I am here!

May God bless each and every one of you richly!
{{{{huge group hug}}}}}}

Bought my boys the Shrek CD that they have been talking about for a while now. They wanted some music to dance to. I bought a CD in the Bahamas of 'Island music' and was playing it in the car. We were all just dancing away at a stoplight when I looked over and there was a young girl about 8 or 9 in the car next to us, just looking at us and smiling.

Anyway, we went home, put on our pajama bottems, NO SHIRTS WE ARE MEN>>> hehehe. And proceeded to dance to classics such as "Macarena" haha. We had a ball. I made 'hot cocoa' magically by putting Hershey syrup into hot milk. Jeessshhhhh, sometimes I forget that kids have to see everything the first time. haha, They thought I was so cool, not 'using the powder like mom does.' Anyway, danced to the islands then I secretly put the Shrek CD in and put it to Smashmouth "Allstar". They tackled me when the song came on, thanking me for getting it for them.

I do so love my boys.

<small>[ November 11, 2002, 11:17 PM: Message edited by: Formerly Confused ]</small>

Boy, reading about the joy FC and some of the others write about on here re.their children makes me wish for those days again! Alas, they are long over for me - my kids are teens now, and hanging out with me is their last/least priority. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Anyways, I haven't posted a 'good thing' post for awhile. Started thinking about it, and realized that I am SO THANKFUL for the friends my heavenly father has blessed me with. I had a potluck supper at my home for a whole bunch of friends this weekend, and as we sat chatting late into the evening, sipping our wine and laughing, I looked around at all of them and realized how very blessed I was by the people in my life. With the exception of two of them, all the others are people I've known for anywhere from 25 years ago, to having met earlier this year, and each one holds such a dear place in my heart. I've shared SO MUCH with all of them (even the more recent friends) and I was overwhelmed with God's goodness and mercy to me in providing such an incredible network of loving friends. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

At a time in my life when I so often feel unbearably raw, and lonely, and rejected, God revealed His love and caring for me in the faces of all those dear people. I thank God for faithful, nurturing, Godly friends, and hope and pray you All have those sorts of people in Your lives!

Okay, two good things.

First, the wonderful woman I was going to go out with tomorrow called and took a rain check. Why is this good? Because she has to stay home with her daughter, who is sick. She had a bit of a sniffle when I saw her on Saturday, and I guess it has gotten worse. The good thing is that this woman put her child's well-being ahead of her own social life. She just moved up a couple notches on the respect-o-meter.

Second, I did a good job "riffing" tonight.

What am I talking about? Well, I'm taking a stand-up comedy course at the Improv. We're learning the basics of joke writing, joke structure, rehearsal, and performance. Tonight was our first foray into riffing...chatting with an audience and improvising comedy on the fly.

I don't like to brag, but I got more laughs out of the instructor than anyone else in the class...and this guy used to write for Leno! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

Oh the great things in life....
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> having really hot water for my morning showers
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> little arms that squeeze the air out of me now that she's growing up
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> watching the new Santa Claus movie and realizing the *magic* still is there even though the youngest is 14!
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> waking up and realizing it's warm enough that I don't have to scrape the ice off my car windshield!
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> The crackle of the fireplace on the weekend when we declared *Pijama Day*!
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> the blessing of reading the *good* that others are enjoying and sharing it with us!

God bless all and have a terrific day!

Spent the day with my oldest boy. He had half a day at school. We went out to eat, walked around the mall, and then went to Toys-R-Us to look at possible things for Christmas. I love having one-on-one time with my Boys. Picked up my youngest boy and went to a new place called 'Chocolate cafe'. It is a chocolate candy/desert place.

My oldest boys loves chocolate, but if faced with the option of some fruit, he will always choose the fruit. Well, He chose the 'Bertie Bott beans' the Jelly Belly jelly beans from 'Harry Potter'. Well, as I am sure you know or have heard of, these things are incredible. They have flavors like Sardines, dirt, vomit, ear wax, grass, black pepper, spinach, booger, etc.

Anyway, I thought my oldest boy was giving me a 'dirt' one, so I was being brave and took it without any hassle. Well, it turned out to be 'Vomit'. I think that they have finally stopped laughing only a few minutes ago and we went out about noon. haha, Anyway, those beans are great. They are so gross that it is incredible. They really taste like what you would expect the thing to taste like. It is incredible and I highly recommend getting a small box for any child that has seen Harry Potter. I am sure that I will hear about that 'vomit bean and the look on my face' when I am 70 years old.

Great day... Just an absolutely GREAT DAY !!!!

<small>[ November 12, 2002, 07:26 PM: Message edited by: Formerly Confused ]</small>

Wednesday I went to Divorce Care class at church. Followed one of the other group members home because she was having trouble with her water heater. She just moved into this house with her oldest son, 15, and her water heater 'went out'. Actually, she had never dealt with a gas water heater, and the pilot light went out and she couldn't get it relit. haha, drove about an hour and took about 3 minutes to relight, and that included the diagram that I drew to help her son understand what I had done, so he could light it again WHEN it goes out. All in all, was a great evening, and I felt good helping out again. It is nice to be able to help someone when I can again.

Had several cases at work today that were interesting. I always enjoy hard cases because they tend to tax my abilities and make me feel good when I come through. I also love it when the other staff come and watch me work. Not that I am a showoff, but I am glad that they feel that I am interesting and good enough to take the time to watch what I do.

Went to pick up my son on Tuesday from daycare and was bent down talking to one of his friends on the floor. I stood up and scared the woman that cares for them. I jokingly said, "I know I am not very good looking, but I never thought I was SCARY." and laughed. She grabbed me by the arm, looked me dead in the eye, and said in all seriousness "That is absolutely not true. You are incredibly handsome." Held my eyes for a second, then walked off. Well, I was taken aback, that is for sure. I wasn't fishing for compliments, and I sure didn't expect one like that from her. She wasn't hitting on me or anything, just seemed to be stating something that she believed. Anyway, it has given me something to think about, that is for sure. Just the way she said it kind of floored me. Kind of like she was going to kick my tail if I thought that way. Like the fact that I had joked about my looks kind of upset her for some reason.

Just for the record, I am NOT a very good looking guy. I feel fine with my looks, for myself.

Oh, and I bought Harry Potter tickets for the 4 o'clock show with my boys tomorrow !!!!

<small>[ November 14, 2002, 10:23 PM: Message edited by: Formerly Confused ]</small>

Something good..Let's see I haven't had my car repo'd yet today. ;-)

got up and my name wasn't in the obituary coloum

I haven't had my car repo'd yet .... my name wasn't in the obituary... at first that made me laugh..then it made me remember how way back when even those things were *good* things. Hang in there! Both are excellent *good* things.

Mine are things like a job. Struggling with not enough hours with a part-time job and no child support wasn't great. Ohhhh and NOT going to the food bank! I remember donating to them, but having to actually go there to feed my children was the most humiliating experience of my life. I'm thankful that I only had to rely on welfare for one month. I'm thankful for those experiences because it taught me humility and to never judge anyone and not being ashamed of my beat up car with the cracked windshield...but be thankful that I have warm transportation to and from where I have to go! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Though I'm going through a terrible time in my life, I still thank God every day for:

Him
My church
My home
My very supporting family and friends
My job
My health
My talents

In addition to 'My health', I'd like to add that I work in a restaurant and see thousands of people per week come and go. I see many wheel chairs, walkers, oxygen tanks, etc. When I see these things, especially with children, it gives me a different perspective on my life. I see people that remind me how selfish I am to feel sorry for myself.

Two weeks ago, a man came to eat with his wife and daughter. The man was obviously a major burn victim. Every exposed part of flesh was badly scarred, including his entire head and face. I couldn't help but to be angry with myself for finding my life so 'hard'. They ate and laughed and enjoyed each other's love and company. What an inspiring sight.

-Wishin'

Wishin,

Thanks for your post. It's great to be reminded of how good we actually have it compared to SO many others! And to see or hear of others that are so worse off than us, and yet carry on with a smile on their face, is simply awesome. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I'm thankful for this forum and all the wonderful people here. So many of you almost feel like 'family' to me; it's so good to know we're all here for each other. I so often feel lifted up when I read of people's concern and love for each other here. A toast <<<<!!!!!!>>>>
to all of us here. We are survivors, and better yet, we are God's beloved survivors!

Boys are with mother tonight. First time in several months that I don't have them on a Tuesday. Feels funny, but I have realized that I can survive and dare I say even live without them with me all the time.

I am slowly finding myself within the cataclysmic mess of divorce. I am finding that although I have dove into my children, that it does not negate the man that I am and the loving needs that I feel. The desires for companionship that I have and the desires for love that I want so desparately.

This might sound melencholy, however, please understand that this realization has led me to understand that life continues, and continues in the same vein as we make it. If we allow it to continue with us following along, that is what we will get. Nothing more than to see the backside of fate our whole lives. However if we anticipate and mold our futures, we still, even at this juncture, have a say in how we will turn out. Be that happy or miserable.

Well, I choose happy. I choose to move ahead with my life, even though that life will be nothing like I had hoped and dreamed for the last 15 years. I will make it a wonderful life for me and my boys. And if I am extremely lucky, and God shines down on me, I will have a wife that I will be able to put everything in my considerable arsenal towards making happy as well.

It is great!!! to have a focus. It is GREAT !!! to have an outlook that is farther than yesterday.

Today I as I was rushing around getting ready this morning - I heard a crunch when I put my foot in my boot and when I dumped out my boot - out same goldfish crackers from inside....... reminded me how much I love my 3 year old. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Also, when I went to mop up the spilled milk from breakfast, I could only find the mop head - minus the handle.......seems to me that it was only yesterday that I had seen my boys with it - doing some boy thing with it and was sure I had told them to put it back..... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> K