Hello, everyone:
I have been praying and have been encouraged by some friends to not give up on my marriage, for several reasons, and I have decided to listen to these good people.
Among the reasons for trying to save my marriage, and the biggest one, I suppose, is that God HATES divorce, and I am learning, more slowly than I would like, that to follow God's plan is to do the thing that will be best for me, and best for everyone else.
I have had to learn that I did not do all that could have, or should have, been done to save my marriage, though, last year, I would have told everyone that every last thing had been done on my part.
So, I am standing firm for my marriage and will do what God wants me to do to save it. I found out, not coincidentally, I believe, that my divorce is not truly final. Some paper work thing has to be completed by my wife, and, until that is done, we are not officially divorced. I have been praying and praying for a sign, do any of you think that this ‘glitch’ is an accident? I do not.
She has betrayed me in the worst way possible by having a year-long affair with a very good friend of mine, but who am I to judge her? When I was a young man, 21, I had a relationship with a married woman and her H forgave ME! There was no intercourse involved, but if my wife did with her OM only what I did with this woman when I was 21, then I would have called it an affair. So, for that, and reasons having to do with Faith, commitment to my vows and learning to have an understanding and forgiving heart, I know that I MUST work on saving my marriage.
I have been on MB since August of 2001 and have only now admitted that I have been on the ‘other side of the coin’ when it comes to being in an adulterous relationship, and that is because I have been so ashamed of it and was so afraid of being judged that I did not say anything until now. I invite you all to do judge me as you will.
I am still very much in love with my wife. She and I have known each other since she was an infant, really, and have been good friends since she was 17, or so. We started dating when she was 24 and got married when she was 26, and she is 31 now so this is not some girl I just met yesterday. I see more clearly how I messed up in our marriage and what I could have done to be a better husband. I will not take responsibility for her having an affair, please take note Jen Brown, but I will take responsibility for my part in a failed marriage.
I saw my wife today to deal with some financial matters and she seemed very non-chalont towards me, but offered to lend me money if I needed it, but I do not.
Please all, please pray for me, my wife, and our marriage. I am doing the best that I can and strive to do better each day.
Yours In Christ,
MNWBTWBD
