Has anyone on ever had success talking with op? Has it ever made positive influences on your relatioship with ws?

I successfully "broke up" my husband and his last fling by making friends with her to discuss her irrational husband's actions (although, who can say the betrayed spouse is irrational?). The second go-around, I decided why bother? It could be anybody with their own set of hang-ups, and it wouldn't make any difference...if they're going to have to find a reason to leave, they'll find it!

<small>[ March 11, 2003, 01:10 PM: Message edited by: T. T. H. O. ]</small>

Nope. I dont think it does any good. My H had encouraged OW to be my friend before I had a clue what was going on. We went to gym together on weekends etc. Once I caught on something was fishy I told her to back off, that that is how people make mistakes etc,& to not allow him depend on her. To stay out of it like everyone else had & refer him back to me. HA!! She said "I've been working on my own marriage for 7 yrs & would never jeopardize that" WITCH!!! I found out later from paperwork her & my H were already doing the nasty when out of town for work - they planned it to be in same place. GRR.

Instead of backing off, she doubled her efforts, lying about me etc. Lord knows what she said & did. But she pulled a total brainwashing number on my H to where he would run to defend & protect HER at every turn and tell me I was lying, a manipulator, pretending, selfish etc etc. She pulls all the tricks in bed -total trash- & obviously H went for it all! Not that I was a prude. I was NOT. He is blind to her & living in a thick fog for over a year and a half now. He has moved out for the 2nd time & will file for divorce against me very soon.

It does NO good. The OP tells you one thing to your face then says & does the exact opposite with your spouse. Mentioning OP to spouse just sends them to the OP even more, it becomes a challenge - an 'I'll show you who's boss - you cant tell me what to do' attitude.

Forget OP. Dont even mention them, although personally I wish OW would drop dead!! In the end we still lose.

You MUST start looking out for yourself. Start living as if WS isnt even there! Dont let WS blame you either, its THEM and whatever twisted thougths are in their brains. Let WS do their own housework & errands. You do your own thing. In the end you'll be better off, whether WS comes back or not. Trust me, I've been living the nightmare since March 2001 and its not over yet.

Please take care of YOURSELF.