I know this is not a legal forum, but since so many of you have been through this already, please let me know what to expect and what I have to watch for.

I just dropped case-info-statement to lawyer last nite for him to review, how long do you think it will take for this to start rolling?

H comes here frequently and has been taking some things from here. I asked him not to come in when no one is home, but I know he has and he is making a stink about wanting bills with his name on them, I dont want him in the position of picking and choosing which bills he wants to pay so I declined saying that for now, things were going to be as "usual" like the note he left me nite he left. He said money would continue and I continue to pay the bills

He hasnt been taking a lot so far, but he did take a movie tonite that belonged to me, my son was home and he told me, but I dont know what he is rooting through while I am at work. Iam taking so much to work with me that I feel like a bag lady.

I dont think I can keep him out until court action is filed, so I am anxious for this to move now.

I live in NJ, any helpful hints????

sunrise1.

Others will come along with more experience, I was pointed to a wesite divorcesource.com. Hope this helps some.

God Bless,

D.

One of the first things my lawyer told me was to change the locks. Check with your lawyer to see if that is appropriate here.
Also, if you have a mailbox, leave H's mail in there and only take out your own, or else get a post office box and have all of your or joint mail sent there.
Good Luck, I'm also in NJ, and this process sucks. I can't believe how slow its moving. I finished the CIS in April and we have nothing accomplished.
I don't know where you are, but I'm in Hunterdon County and my first lawyer was unresponsive and wasted a great deal of my time, and probably set me back on custody. If you're in that area, let me know and we can discuss names off-line.
Also, I belong to a great Divorce Support Group which meets on Thursday nights.
Write back if you want more info.

Newly..Thanks. I live in south jersey 15 min from philadelphia.

I dont want to change locks yet. 1. because I just spent money of new lock because other just plain broke 2 I dont want to let H know yet that I have been to a lawyer and 3 if I change locks he will just break in anyway. I dont have a restraining order yet and Im not sure if I can do that yet.
Other than bills, its not that he gets any personal mail

and today is a tough day as I know he is on a mini honeymoon with her in AC for teachers convention. Went to m-i-l house to drop off more of his personal belongings, that was not a good situation either <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

From a Jersey boy.

You can't change the locks on the house/apartment if the dwelling is joint owned/leased/deeded.

If he is still living there...
...you have to file with the courts first...
...before you can make legal arrangements before there can be voluntary removal of property.

...bottom line... if he wants to stay there...
...he can... unless you can prove abuse/danger to your well-being.

This is a very difficult situation to be in.

You have my prayers.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Jim/NSR

NSR,
Thanks. He doesnt still live here..Moved in with mom on 10-5-02. took 1/2 day off work and he cleaned out all his stuff,

left me a note on bed to find when I got home from work

in contrast..both times he told me he ended it with OW, he told me he owed it to her to tell her in person.

There has been abuse, and I am afraid especially when he has been drinking. The papers are being reviewed by lawyer so I dont know how long that will take, but lawyer mentioned restraining order when he files. Then my H really may go ballistic.