<small>[ March 11, 2003, 01:11 PM: Message edited by: T. T. H. O. ]</small>

OK well for one you are not nuts... I compare myself to the OW all of the time - I feel like I got dumped - literally for the lady next door - anyways - Are you on antidepressants and going to a therapist??? I will say that I was and emotional wreck all of the time - I mean all of the time until I got medication - I mean don't get wrong I still have some bad days but not as many - You are hurt - and you have every right to be - You are like waiting for him to leave hoping for him to stay - I am not sure that I personally could do that - but that is your decision - Have you decided when to tell your children??? Maybe your daughter could give you some much needed support - I don't even want to think about the holidays my girls are 9 and 12 and they basically are going to want to spend them with me - and their father will make me feel bad even though this has all been his choice - Divorce is not pretty - and even when it is civil I have found in my case - that being betrayed - totally sends you into a tailspin - really screws with your self esteem - I wish everyday that my life didn't turn out like this - I wish he didn't screw with me like this - but now only now after 1 year and a month - I am finally coming to terms with the fact that it is over and I can't do anything but I will survive - it is not an easy road, it is not a pleasant road - but someone used to tell me for every bad day there are two good days around the corner - Look into the medication... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

<small>[ March 11, 2003, 01:12 PM: Message edited by: T. T. H. O. ]</small>

Hi TTHO

Sorry you're feeling low today. I would agree that maybe anti-depressants are something to check into, especially since you have to get through the holidays. I totally understand your thoughts regarding "is this the last birthday we'll have together as a family". I thought the same thing.

Yes, you Plan A for YOU. To make YOU a better person, regardless of what happens with WH. Once he moves out, it becomes VERY difficult to Plan A since he won't be able to see any changes you might be making. Have you tried filling out the LB questionnaire as if your H was answering? By doing that, it may help you know what areas you could improve upon.

I would also agree to not lean on your daughter too much for support. My counselor advised against it, it just opens the opportunity for them to be caught in the middle. However, just know that if she's got that kind of educational background, and you raised her grounded with a solid foundation, she will realize on her own that her dad is the one who's making a mistake here.

There was a really good post here not too long ago, I think it was by Orchid, about the real reasons to Plan A and Plan B..put in language a little differently from the "Concepts" section here on the site. If I can find it, I"ll let you know.

Stay strong!

<small>[ March 11, 2003, 01:12 PM: Message edited by: T. T. H. O. ]</small>

Hey TTHO
I would be glad to correspond. My addy is (now deleted) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> . I usually check my email through out the day but may not respond at length until evening. However, this evening my H is coming over...we're going to have "the talk" that never happened when he decided to move out. Mainly that was due to the fact he moved ahead on separation way faster than I thought he would, and because I was just trying to get through the wedding w/o a nervous breakdown.

So think of me around 7 PM E.S.T. when we're meeting. I'll look forward to hearing from you and at that point, may erase this post since it has personal info.

Have a great day!

<small>[ November 07, 2002, 11:02 AM: Message edited by: avondale25 ]</small>

T.T.H.O. -

Sorry that you are having a down day.

Unfortunately it is par for the course.

However, you can get through them - just focus on one day at a time.

If you want to try Plan A - it may help you to focus on something - and Plan A is about bettering yourself - even if your WH doesn't return, but it also may make him see the light - remember however, that a godd Plan A takes months.

You can set some goals for yourself and every week see how you are doing.

Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.

May God Bless You today. K

GI

<small>[ March 11, 2003, 01:13 PM: Message edited by: T. T. H. O. ]</small>

Avondale25
I e-mail you this am - thanks so much for doing this for me.
T.T.H.O.