OK so my kids were or are doing fine - or so I thought - They are both girls oldest 12 1/2 and youngest 9 3/4 - well my oldest has always been somewhat of a pain in the butt to me.... but that is ok because that is her job - so I am thinking - they are very respectful to other people and are having no problems at school... I just had conferences for both and they are fine... But the problems are beginning at home - and their father will take no blame what so ever and really has no solutions... My oldest told him a couple of weeks ago - that she hated him and she has always hated him and she doesn't want to spend any time with him... Nice huh??? Well he retaliated this weekend and told her the same thing and said he would take her sister over her anyday - now to me this is very childish.... So the problem is - he takes them on Tuesdays for an hour or so - out to eat fine... then he takes them on Friday nights over night - picks up the kids at 6:30 but usually has them home by 1 the next day - unless of course they go to a movie or something... Now my oldest doesn't want to spend quality time with her Dad because in her opinion she didn't have to when he lived there so why should she now??? Now she is at a crappy age anyways - but she knows her dad had a girlfriend or still has one or is looking for one and doesn't want me - and I don't care what anyone says this is half of why she is being a pain in the butt... I get the crap all week - all of the time - and he is just dating and going to bars not doing much --- doesn't like to hear the fact that alot of her attitude is stemming from the fact that he left and her life is not the same.. Now my youngest she is somewhat of the protector of feelings - she think s I should just move on and get a boyfriend and I will be fine... So I have a call into my therapist about getting them appointments so they have someone to talk to - My husband or ex if you will does not want to take any blame and throws it back at me by saying I have no control and I don't punish them enough --- So now we are going to try the every other weekend thing - and see if maybe they spend more time with him - they start accepting the fact that we are not together - and that now there are two households - but they don't look at it like that - they just visit Dad's - I don't know I am so frustrated with his attitude... he says I will just hang myself so you can get over me..... I am thinking that he is a useless cause - but what about the kids - do I have them go for the whole weekend and try to make them become more comfortable with the situation - or do I just let it continue on and let the situation and their attitudes drive me crazy... -??? Does anyone understand this or am I really crazy?????