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We were virgins
#7390 09/03/99 07:44 AM
Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 2
Delta, Oh 43515
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matdonna Offline OP
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matdonna
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Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 2
Delta, Oh 43515
My husband and I have been married for 8 years. I recently found out he was cheating on me with my best friend. I am dealing Ok with that I guess but it is hard for me to get over the fact that I am no longer the only one he has been with since we were virgins when we got married. How do I cope with that? He has stopped all contact with the ex-Best friend which is good. Although this friend of mine thinks that I need to forgive her since I was able to forgive my husband. I don't think that is a good although wince she would be a constant reminder of the worst time in my life. Any comments or suggestions please respond.
Re: We were virgins
#7391 09/03/99 08:29 AM
Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 299
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jendan69 Offline
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jendan69
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Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 299
Hi<BR>I agree with you how could you possable look at her without wanting to scratch oput her eyes each time ? I personally would not be able to see her anymore.<P>Jenny
Re: We were virgins
#7392 09/03/99 08:52 AM
Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 115
South Carolina
A
A great resource to start recovering and healing your marriage i Offline
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A great resource to start recovering and healing your marriage i
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Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 115
South Carolina
Hi matdonna,<P>I agree with jendan. I would not be able to continue a friendship with someone who has broken the friendship covenant by sleeping with my husband. It takes two to tango and she was part of it. Unlike your husband, you have no life long bond with this gal, at least from now on, which is positive or good for you.<P>Do not feel guilty about her wanting you to forgive her and see her. She is the one who is feeling guilty and she wants you to make her feel OK about what she did.<P>Have you and your H been working on your marriage now that the affair is over?<P>Hope that helps. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<BR>Hugz and prayers,<BR>Thoughtful
Re: We were virgins
#7393 09/03/99 09:18 AM
Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 468
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yes_dup37 Offline
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yes_dup37
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Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 468
Someday you will need to forgive her, for yourself. But that does NOT mean letting her back into your life. There is a BIG difference between rebuilding with your H and rebuilding with a friend. It is recomended that the OP is in NO contact what so ever with you or H.<P>I read a thread recently about someone in a position like you that tried to be friends again and the affair just started back up. I will see if I can find it and bring it back to the top.<P>I don't know how to help you get past the "virgin" part of this mess. I am sure that is so hard. Have you explained to H why it is so upsetting to you?<P>I am sorry that you are going through this pain. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>------------------<BR>Shoni<P><BR>
Re: We were virgins
#7394 09/03/99 09:52 AM
Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 5,798
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Lor (Lor) Offline
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Lor (Lor)
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Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 5,798
Stillkel is the person who has been through this. She's been trying to stay friends with the OW & recently discovered the H & OW have been seeing each other all along. You can forgive the OW, however that doesn't mean she has the right to be in your life.

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