Hi everyone-<BR>I finally was able to sleep last night. It felt good. I have been doing alot of thinking about this tragedy that is happens in our lives. <BR>I know that some of you may think that God is far away. I have felt that way too at times. I was having trouble understanding why He wasn't intervening at the most trying time in my life. Why was He letting my family suffer so?<BR>I have come to realize that He wasn't letting my family suffer, it is the people involved in the family that are making this happen.<BR>My H has put me through the ringer. He has done everything in his power that make me responsible for his behaviors. He has belittled me, blamed me, called me names, even hit me.<BR>It is him that is suffering most now. I am getting stronger every day, through the Grace of God. God is teaching me, that when faced with adversity, you must make a chose. You may choose to put up with the wretched behaviors of your spouse, or you may chose to unleash the chains of despair and rise from the ashes, like the Phoenix.<BR>I am certainly not proclaiming to have master this role, but I am determined not to let this awful situation ruin the rest of my life.<BR>I beleive that it is our duty, as Christians, to hate the sin, but love the sinner. How, you ask? The only way to do this, is to open your heart to God and His words, and find comfort in knowing that He will show you the way.<BR>I know that all of us here, and so many more, are struggling with this problem. I believe that we all want to be bigger people than what our circumstances have made us. I know that I want to truly frogive my H. Not only for what he has done to my family unit, but what he is doing to himself. <BR>My h is very tortured. I know that. I have a tendency to make him feel even worse, because of my anger toward him. I want to let the anger go, and fill my heart back up with love. I want to forgive him.<BR>I also believe that there is not one of us here, that can honestly say that we are without sin. So, if we have sinned and been forgiven, why can't be forgive our spouse who has sinned? I don't believe that sins are classified as more wrong than others. They are all sins.<BR>Ok, I'm off my soapbox now. <BR>Just want you to know that God is working mircales in me everyday, and that I need to do what He wants me to. He wants me to love and forgive, just as He has done to me.<P>God bless, and stay strong,<BR>Cheryl
