My FMIL and I were pretty tight. I've been fence sitting on whether or not to write or send her an Xmas card.

She always acknowledge the stupid crap my XH did -his childish, selfish behavior, the emotional abuse, controlling behavior, etc. And, always said to me that no matter what happened - we (she and I) would always be friends.

Mind you, I really didn't believe it. She has replied to a few emails that I have sent since June, but nothing really.

I email/chat occasionally with her H (my X step father in law - this family is VERY complicated) and he seems fine. We don't talk about the marriage, XH or any of that.

Anyway, I've debated about writing her. Not so much to get a response from her - but to get some things off my chest (nothing negative).

Has anyone written their X In Laws - if so, what did you say?

I'm sure XH has maligned me to his family - no biggie to me. They are all smart and know better.

Anyone?

Llama

Actually yes, I wrote my ex-IL's, and believe it or not, it was after I remarried to someone else.

In our case, my in-laws went to great lengths to say that I will always be their 'daughter' and I feel the same way. However, it *isn't* the same, and I never expected it to be.

Anyway, what I said... I said that I will always love them, that I would encourage the relationship with our kids (adults) for always, that although their son and I couldn't work it out, I wished him well, and would always care about him... and finally, that I have remarried and my husband is a good, kind man and loves me, so not to worry.

I got a letter in return, wrote again, and have not heard back... except when they were visiting and my daughter told me they told her to tell me (is that confusing, or what? LOL) that they loved me and missed me (I moved out of the country).

I say to do it... just don't have expectations. Yes, I'd kind of wished we could continue to keep in close touch, but was not surprised when we couldn't, for whatever reason.

Go ahead and send a card. If you aren't at odds, thats great, keep it that way if possible.

I sent them a nice Christmas card the year I got divorced. They sent a nice one back - so I sent them another nice one the following year. Never heard from them again...
Perhaps they missed the MASSIVE spending their Daughter spent on them every year when we were married???
Who cares anyway - certainly not me. Didn't bother sending them one the year after that.
Didn't really miss sending them one anyway...
Harold