Hi Randy!
Thanks for the welcome to this site and for all the advices.
Well, my husband and I have been married for 14 years. I thought we have a happy marriage until October 23rd when he shared that he has not been happy for the last 2 years and he wants out. When asked if he is willing on work on it, he said no because it is too painful to work on it.
When we were dating, I told him that I am not too keen on having children because of my bad childhood. I always found myself competing with other children for love, from my parents and my God mother. Anyway, his response, then and during our first year together (married), was he loves me and he did not marry me to have children. Anyway, on January 4th, out of the blue, he told me that it would be nice to have a child and he wants to have a child with me. I did not provide him the reaction he needed from me at that time. I was not having a good time at work. I was very depressed. I told him that maybe, we should part company. I told him I love him very much but I am not sure if I could have a child with him as I did not and have not felt important in his life. I told him that I have been content with being no. 6 with him for the past 13 years and I was not willing to be lower than no. 6 as I feel that the child would be more important to him than me. Anyway, I went to talk to a counselor about my depression. David went to see the counselor a couple of times, once by himself and another time with me. During those two sessions, he said that he wants to do all he can to make me happy. We agreed to treat my depression first. Since then, I cannot really communicate with him as I know that we have not resolve the child situation even though he said that he loves me very much and we could go on as if I could not have any children.
Anyway, on October 23rd, he told me that he wants a divorce. He said that he loves me but he is no longer in love with me. He said that we have different goals in life, we have different approaches to live and we have grown apart. He said that he has been unhappy for the last couple of years and he does not want to work at our marriage any longer. I was stumped. I did not know that he was ‘working’ on our marriage.
He has been talking to an attorney and plans to move out November 30th. Last night, we had our second discussion on how to split our assets. Right after this discussion, he told me that he is willing to have dinners with me even after his move.
I am a Christian and I know that God does like divorces. I am not sure how to slow things down. One of the ways I could slow it down is to contest him for his consulting company. However, during the second asset split discussion, he showed me that I have more on my side of the balance sheet. So, he is trying to persuade me that his consulting company is not worth the difference between his side of the balance sheet and mine. In order to put a price tag on his consulting company, we need to incur more legal fees. He said that we need all the cash we can keep instead of giving money to attorneys.
I have been seeing counselor and am on prescribed medication from my doctor.
I sure pray to God to save my marriage.
Thanks, Randy.
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