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Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 34
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Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 34 |
It has been a while since I have posted anything. Things have gotten incredibly worse. My w is moving out today and said I will be served shortly. She thinks we will be friends, she will set me up w/ my next w., she & I will hang out, etc... Everyone is saying that she is making a huge mistake. Family, friends, pastors, counselors but she wants to prove them wrong. I am facing the fact that we are probably over. She wants the divorce to be over in 6 months or less. We have been together for 8 yrs, married 5 yrs and have a 15month old. She is throwing all this away in 2 1/2 month's time. I want to delay the proceedings so the dust can settle. I have been working on getting me better. I have lost 30lbs, new confidence but she keeps playing mind games. "We can always get remarried?" She said that I have done nothing wrong in the relationship and she couldn't have chosen a better father for our daugther. I wish I could say the same. I think a friend who has been divorced is feeding her a line of B.S... I know that time will only heal wounds but I just WANT TO SCREAM! I am ticked off that she could throw me away like a piece of trash. I am a great husband & a even better dad. I guess I am looking for a little support.
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Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 550
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Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 550 |
Hi ees, sorry to see you go through this don't beat yourself up, it don't help. The thing to do is become an overcomer, yes, it makes you feel like trash and lower than a sewer rat inside, but its not the end its only a beginning of new and great things...Despite what my wife did to me at it was a sad lost and still is, but as time has gone on, she may have done me good. I know that sounds crazy but, if she has problems then she and OM has to deal with it now, not me, and believe me its a boat load. I can only move forward and become who the Lord designed me to be........
In an early post you said your wife has a chronic illness - could that be big cause of her unhappiness and not ALL you??
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Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 140
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H did the same thing, he would do anything for us when he left for MOW. When things went wrong with house H told me to call someone else to fix it. I knew after that I was on my on. friendly D changed as soon as MOW left her H & they moved in together. X now tells me I hate you. grass is not always greener on the other side. X is bitter, his life he knew for over 17 yrs gone. What used to be a family man & father who I couldnt get out of the recliner is now a party guy. X only child doesnt want to be near him. younger woman who is very different than me is controling his life. It will take time for you to heal. You cannot make someone love you and stay with you. I lost 20 lbs. saw MOW a few weeks later, I may be almost 17 yrs older but Im in better shape than her. What we look like is not the reason they leave. X friends & family played a big part in H not coming home. M would have only worked if we had moved. Looking back I now see that our M wasnt so great, there has always been a MOW in our M. It took over a year but I got my life back. move back home 7 hrs away. Its peaceful not having to hear about X & MOW everyday. I feel I took the trash out & dont want it back.
m-17 yrs. 9mths, 12 days me-48, x-43 c-13, 29, 8 grd d-5-02
MOW-32 C-3 under 10 D-7-02 m-10 yrs
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Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 34
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Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 34 |
Okay, here is what I don't get. Her family asks me to hang in there, the pastor & elders of our church, friends are supporting me, etc... How many more excuses can I make for her? The ultimate slap in the face was sleeping on the floor last night no blankets/covers. Nice..
No one knows whether it is the chronic illness. Some said she loses a little weight and she is going to leave the guy who has gotten her through the toughest part of her life. I left out a few adjectives to describe her. I am just ticked off today. I am stronger b/c she has done this to me and I will never let anyone do it to me again. Prayer is helping me get through the days and friends/family is too. Thank God for those positive things.
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 407
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 407 |
ees-
I think you're wise to try and let things settle down before making or agreeing to any rash decisions. Your wife is definitely in the Fog everyone around here talks about but reality has a way of burning that off sooner or later. If you think you may want this thing to work out, for the short term try to avoid the LB's mentioned by Harvey and come up with a Game plan. Sorry if this doesn't apply as I'm not sure how far your'e into this process...Good luck!
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