My WH has served me with divorce papers, it will be in court on the 11th December. There is no way to stop the divorce, as we're a no-fault state. I suspect WH will move overseas to be with his Czech OW. Blech. The divorce should be final on the same day as our 18th wedding anniversary.

I've been debating whether to take back my maiden name, but don't know if that would be ok for a Christian to do so. God hates divorce, and I would not have initiated divorce myself. When my WH divorces me, am I still married to him in God's eyes and therefore should keep his surname? It might not seem an important question, but somehow it's important to me. There are no children.

Evensong

((Evensong)): so sorry for your pain.

Ask God for a sign. My first thought (but it's only an opinion) is that it might be freeing for you to return to your maiden name--simply for practical reasons--like avoiding questions of "Oh, are you related to so-and-so?"

But if you still feel married in God's eyes, as you indicated this is not your choice, perhaps you should keep the name.

I'm sure the Father will direct you to the right choice and we'll be praying He pours His healing balm upon your soul in these difficult days.

Hugs to you.

Thanks Freshstart,

I've prayed about it for quite some time, and still don't have an answer. I was hoping someone here might have more insight than I do. It would be easier for me to not have his surname, as it's well known in this town (WH ran for Mayor twice).

Evensong

I struggled with this one too.I'm keeping my husbands last name,Only because of our son.I want to have the same last name as him.I don't want to keep it,it hurts when people ask questions.
I'm hoping that when and if I remarry down the road,that person will adopt my son.Since his father can't be a father.

If the name isn't important to you, I'd drop it. I kept mine because I've been married 12 years and none of my professional contacts or friends know my maiden name. Also, I have 3 children.... if I remarry I will be changing my name, but until then (and it will be awhile!), it is less hassle to keep his name. I would just consider how important the name is to you personally and professionally.

Personally, I would rather my wife change her name back. Although for the sake of my children, I am a bit mixed about this. I am very proud of my name, and what my family has helped it to represent. Although, it is not well known, nor is it anything special, it means alot to me. And in that fact, I want those who have it to have some respect for what it represents. I do not want it to be associated with someone that is a liar. I do not want it associated with adultery. I don't want someone that does these things, associated with my children, for they deserve better than to have relation that would deceive and betray them by betraying their father and their family and all that it stands for.

However, I have no say over the issue. She has said that she will keep it, because it is an attention and conversation starter. Actually, her first and my last name makers her sound like a stripper. But it allows her to start conversations quickly. She even says that some people think that it is a 'sweet' combination. Even thought it sounds like something a made up Barbie character would be named. I always loved it, but now I feel that she wears the name without right in some ways.

However, I assume that until she remarries, she will keep it so our children won't have to explain why their mother has a diferent name than they do.

I don't think she deserves the name. But nothing other than herself has any meaning anyway.

<small>[ November 28, 2002, 08:43 PM: Message edited by: Formerly Confused ]</small>