Taking the gifts.

At the end of a relaitohsip, there is a legacy that needs to be acknowleged. It consists of all the gifts that were given back and forth, the lessons learned, that changes that were accomplished. When we are going through all the pain and heartache and anguish of ending, we are not inclined to stop and take note of the benifits that we received, but oddly enough it is at precisely this point that it is important to give thanks. You may feel that you gave everything and dint get a thing in return, but when you really stop and think about it, you'll realize that you did get something for yourself, at the very least a companion for the duration of the relationship. You have received much, because every relationship enlarges and enriches us, changes us somehow in the interior and essential fabric of ourselves. Unless we take note of that fact, we will carry a grude, instead of an open heart, into the future.

So write a letter to thaank your former partner. What gifts do you take away from this relaiothship; what are the gifts you specifically eceived?

Lora, Thanks for posting this. I don't have time right now, but I'll be back. Leslie

OK, I will go first.

Companionship, a great home, the chance for many great vacations, and the ability to work part time and enjoy other hobbies. Those are the material obvious things.

The chance to heal from my abuse as a child. Support though my parents deaths and my ca. The chance to grow as a person, accept myself, realize I desearve respect and kindness and love.

Dear Tom, Since I was unable to have children I want to thank you for providing me with a family and the opportunity to be a mother to your son and your niece and nephew.

Thank you for your alcoholism, which drove me into Al-Anon and a relationship with God, and gave me the chance to experience the miracle of your sobriety and the opportunity (when you lost your sobriety) to discover that I don't really need that much drama in my life anymore.

Thank you for going through the cancer experience with me as best you could.

Thank me for all the fun times, camping trips, beach trips, Disneyland with the kids, building houses, creating our own business, and great conversation.

Thank you for helping me discover my strength and my leadership ability. I might never have realized it if you hadn't left.

Thank you for loving me once, for being my best friend, and for making me feel special.