I did not want a pre-nup, because I think it shows a lack of trust - and I do trust my fiancee - so I didn't ask for one. Now, having said that, I pose a question:<P>I have never been married and have a nice collection of assets. My wife-to-be says that because we're becoming "one flesh", that my assets should be "assimilated" accordingly. <P>She currently makes a comfortable income as a professional, and she really does'nt need my financial support to provide for herself and her kids.<P>I contend that I should be able to manage my assets and distribute them as I want. This is not to say I won't share them with my new family but, should I let my wife-to-be have equal controlling interest and decision-making authority? She says yes, it's Biblical. <P>I'm a Christian, and I want to do the right thing. Does anyone have a similar experience they care to share? Can anyone offer comment?

cmee,<P>There are a couple of things in your post that raised some red flags for me.<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by cmee:<BR><B>My wife-to-be says that because we're becoming "one flesh", that my assets should be "assimilated" accordingly.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Geez, assimilation sounds like something an alien does to an earthling when it takes control of them. Seriously though, her interpretation of scripture seems a bit strained here. The context of the "one flesh" passage is refering to the relational part of marriage not material assets. <P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by cmee:<BR><B>I contend that I should be able to manage my assets and distribute them as I want. This is not to say I won't share them with my new family but,</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Some legal advice here may be in order. You certainly have a moral obligation to take care of your wife in the event of your death. You may also want to make some provision for her children, but that IMHO is up to you. Make sure you have a will that will reflect your new marital status.<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by cmee:<BR><B> ...should I let my wife-to-be have equal controlling interest and decision-making authority? She says yes, it's Biblical.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>The word "control" here really made my ears perk up. There is nothing Bibilcal about a husband controling the wife or the wife controling the husband. The Bible just doesn't talk about equal control of assets in a marriage. That is because if the marriage relationship is right, control is never an issue.<P>The Bible describes a marriage realtionship using a single term over and over again. The word is submission. I know this won't play well in some circles but the Bible says for wives to submit to their husbands athority. Husbands are to love their wives like their own bodies and SUBMIT to the the athority of Christ. We men like to slide over that last part. There is no equal control but rather equal submission. I'm pretty sure that is what the Policy of Joint Agreement is all about. You can read about the POJA on this web site under basic concepts. I suggest that you and your wife-to-be read through the material about emotional needs on this web site too. I have a hunch that you may find that she has an emotional need for financial support/security. With that understood you can come to an agreement about how you can best meet that need. <P>Hope some of this helps.<P>Mud <>< <BR> <P><BR>

IMHO.....<BR>This is a biblically based sight and we are taught about trusting God. He is our provider for everything. When we marry truly we become one, what was mine is now ours, completely. We don't completely trust our spouses because they are 'human' so we try to protect ourselves by holding back here or there. instead of looking at it as trusting this person, Trust in God that by giving yourself over wholly He will bless you and watch over you. Should trials come, should your spouse 'free will' enter into the picture and cause havoc.... Trust in God again to make it right. Perhaps I am over simplifying it all, but for me I look at it like a child and trust God. This is not a battle I would choose to fight or even create. Once again this is only my humble opinion.

This issue actually depends on the state you live in. Some states will keep property separate if you owned it prior to marriage. You need to investigate this in your state. The web is a good source of information on this type of subject.