Read a post from K (GIIC) and seems that we both did our handy dandy best and managed to put up our christmas lights. Not only can we bring home the bacon, fry it up in the pan, but we can use electrical things too! My son loves it. Tonight after Deucey brings son back for day visit I will put up tree with him. This year I broke down and got a prelit one. Very pretty. B/c I work now and don't really have the time to vacuum up after a real tree, I am opting for this.

Here goes the new one for today: He has decided to stop son's tae kwon do. Said son missed three lessons. He gets son for the day today and will be bringing him home before bedtime as per our last and brief conversation. I did the nice thing and told son and built up how they were going to a movie together after his karate class and he was excited. I hand washed his uniform and let it air dry so it would be just perfect for his class today. Something made me check on if he had picked up son from school on time for the lesson. Just a women's intuition thing I guess. So I called school at quarter to four. He hadn't been picked up yet. Called Deucey. Didn't pick up cell. Called back. Asked if he had picked up son and if he remembered the lesson was at four. Told him that his uniform was at school hanging up and that I hand washed it, etc. He then got angry again and said that b/c son missed the 3 lessons that he was not going to the class and might just have some private lessons or stop altogether. I was sooooo mad. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> Here's why son missed the last three lessons: 1)Deucey didn't return son's uniform and put it on the door as promised on the morning before his little rendezvous in carribean w/Ms. Family Values, the new OW on the scene. 2) Next class son is sick. I get sick from taking care of son while Deucey is in carribbean. 3) We are out of town due to Thanksgiving and doubt that anyone showed up or few for class. Visiting our family we only get to see maybe twice a year. So Deucey does the control thing again. PUNISHING ME FOR WHAT? He is really punishing son for not letting him go. Plus after my harsh b stipulations and my discovery of yet another affair with his lovely friend, Ms. Family Values, the woman who lets her 2 year old son spend the night with my son in the same room while she's in the room with Deucey down the hall. So he is back in the angry phase now. Angry b/c I am not all kind and all acceptant of this now. Angry because I don't want to go along with this whole "good divorce" thing. Angry b/c I told him that our son was confused about this boy and this new mistress. So therefore in Deucey's eogist mind, I should be punished as before he used to. Punish me so that I will not do the thing he dislikes so much and that is show him his sin and who he has become. He doesn't want to see in the mirror of who he is now. It is just too much so blaming me is the better way of avoiding it.

He actually said this to me: "I appreciate your concern but this is my issue". No, it is our son's issue I tell him and then I tell him how much our son loves his classes and that he is only four and that this is typical. That I sometimes had missed dance lessons when I was young (I started at 3) and that didn't have any bearing on if I did or didn't become a good dancer ( I sure was a good one). He just wouldn't listen to me. Plus the classes were something he and I could have in common despite my being in plan B. He would make up excuses to call me about son. We actually were somewhat amicable because of this. Like I was afraid of, he was maybe going to use these classes to get back in to mentally do his thing to me again. Or to string me along after the d. I guess I was right unfortunately. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

I truly believe this was a controlling move and that HE JUST WANTED TO HEAR ME BEG FOR SOMETHING. Like a dog. Made me sick that I had to actually plead with this man for anything anymore. I don't plead for a second chance because who he is now is not someone I like at all. I love the man I used to know as my husband. Not this stupid Deuce Bigalo multi-mistress gigolo he is prancing around pretending to be. He used to love his family. Put his arm around me during church. Have a heart and soul. But about three years ago he just started morphing into this thing he is today. God I hate it. I wonder if any of the man I love and miss still exists at all?

Please pray for my son. He picked up son and took him to a movie and to eat. No class.

Yep, Peachy, control is the NAME of the GAME and they do it OH SO WELL....my WH called me tonight to get the phone number of some friends of ours (whom I had happened to spend Thanksgiving with) and he could have called information just as easily. But NOOO, he had to call me just so he could try to make me "wonder" what he would be calling about, wouldn't I ask him, try to keep him talking, which is what he really wanted me to do. I gave it to him, said is that all you need and then said, okay, goodbye. Hung up and felt guilty as hell. Suppose he's lonely? Am I love busting by not talking to him? Or am I playing into his game? I too wonder what happened to the man I sat next to in church, who would put his arm around me, who would take us to lunch, who loved his family and loved me. Maybe the husband of your past and the husband of my past are lost together somewhere and these "clones" we have now will vanish when they find their way home.....

Maybe I LB'd also, but I am in B and I don't really worry too much about it now. He dropped off son about thirty minutes ago. I opened the door and son ran in. Into my arms. Then there he was, the man who told me to go out and get "f'd" to solve my problems. All friendly looking and somewhat smiling. He muttered something about son and I just stood there and smiled back and nodded. Then he turned to leave and I shut the door. Maybe I shut it a little too loudly though. In no way did I engage this clone. Maybe we should call our struggles like the movie "War of the clones". I smiled and shut the door. I am glad that I did not engage him verbally. Let him say everything. And it is funny but I haven't a clue what he was talking about. I was just standing there thinking to myself that he is the most lost man and sad person in the whole world. Then he ambled off into his little foggy world again.

I did not ask him to come in and stood in the doorway so he wouldn't take it upon himself to come in. He saw my new lights. Granted I didn't pay thousands as I suspect he did, but I am doing this for son and not for the world and not out of my guilt over what I did to my family as he he did.

Staying in control for me is a win. I thank you so much for being a good friend and in supporting me, but I am in serious doubt that he will ever change. He looks so strangely happy now. Foggedly happy. Don't think he ever wants this again. And I don't wish to return to what was. Only to begin anew with either someone else or him, but only if one day he turns to God. Either way it wil be someone else basically. When and if that day comes and he finds God he will be made new anyway. But I just can't find the faith anymore at all. And I don't even look back now. He is just too lost.

Peachy!

Awesome job putting up the lights!

Today I also redid a whole entire flower bed, applied chemicals to the entire lawn to kill the weeds, filled in some low spots in the yard with sand and picked up the garage. All things that needed to be done, but couldn't because I have been sick for the past two weeks.

My boys are still so impressed with the job I'm doing. I told them that they get to help me next time....

Almost all done with the Christmas shopping too.

We have a 10' artifical tree that I just relized I actually have to put the lights on myself this year! I wanted a prelite but I don't have the money to spend on it, so it looks like the job is all mine!

I am so sorry about your son's classes.''

ExH pulls this one too - but it's piano and scouts and because of the peer pressure of the other dads, and because he likes to take OW to scouting events, ghe has kept them in.

My Ex is however, refusing to pay for our 31/2 year old's school - he goes three days a week and he loves it. Taking him out would give the child another loss and take away the only real stability he has, but does ExH care - NO. He just can't seem to want to pay - he tells me to stop paying my lawyer and pay for it myself.

Like I'm ever going to not need a lawyer with this guy...........

And ExH is still sore about me keeping my luxurious house - as he calls it. I am only staying in the home that the children know, for their sakes and with interest rats as they are I;d be paying the same for rent - but ExH just wants to see me punished no matter if the kids go down with the ship or not.

And ExH - who said he was sooooooo broke, just had an entire entertainment system built in his home.

It's all about the things for those guys.

And as far as begging him to do anything. Sure I'll e-mail him and beg up a storm. Who cares?
I don't. So what if he has to think that he's the man. As long as the kids get what they need, it honestly doesn't bother me because it doesn't mean anything. I know it's just an ego thing with him and that he's a pathetic creature right now who obviously needs it, or maybe he doesn't know what he needs, but as long as he stays out of my way, I'm fine.

Drop offs are in the drive way with him, he is no longer even allowed to come to the door. His front door privileges were revoked the other day because if his jerkiness.

I am happy to say that God will not let anything happen to us or our children without it being a part of HIS plan, at least as long as we are faithful. It's hard to remember sometimes, but God still keeps coming through for me every single day. Even when I feel like I'm a total mess.

There is something better out there and when we're ready, it will come. I've heard that being single can be a gift because then we have more time to spend getting to know God, and it is suggested that after a divorce that single people take some time to do just that - spend some time strengthening their relationship with God, so that when they're ready God will send the right person along and you'll be able to have the relationship that we should have had all along.

Again, I'm sorry that these guys have seemed to just fall off the deep end, but that is what they have done, and while I still pray for ExH's conversion, it is not my job to put my life on hold or be miserable waiting for such thing to happen because I may be waiting for a LONG TIME.

It's sad, but true. I'll be praying for our peace. God will give it to us, I'm sure of it.

K

you are in a control situation. Just keep doing the things that you are doing. And to show that you can do projects without him, and do them well, hey that is so great.

I know, I have been there, and to tell you the truth, being in my home is great. It may be just for a little while, but still it is a home that the kids have known for 12 years. And I plan on staying here as long as I can, but I do want to move to something more economical, and more temp. controlled.

I am looking into plans on having a home built, in the side of a hill. Where most of the house will be underground, conserve energy, and then have all the lighting of windows be on the south side. Passive solar home. I want the garage to be built into the hill too. So that I can work in the garage refinishing furniture, or cleaning a carpet, or working on my vehicle. Plus, I want a driveway that is short, this one that I am at is 250 feet long. No one wants to shovel the snow out of this driveway.

There is so much to look at the brighter side for. I don't want a real x-mas tree this year. Yes, the needles are a pain, and the fear of fire of the tree, scares me. I have a big Fig tree, I decorated last year, cause my father was dying, and didn't have time for shopping or anything. The tree is quite big, about 10 feet tall. I would rather decorate it, and have a real tree. Will talk to the kids, and save money on buying an expensive real cut down tree. And this year I would love to get an artificial tree, 4foot one that has its lights already on it. Just one to put on a table stand. After the x-mas celebration, and hopefully get one that is CHEAP!

My mother in law and I talked today. Of course my husband is the Wayward spouse, and she told me that she fixed her toilet. It would not flush, and she remember have the gizmo piece to put in it upstairs in a drawer. She found the gizmo piece, got it in, and the toilet works great. She can't ask her son (my husband) to fix things, cause he will ask one of our boys to come over. And she didn't want to bother the boys. They have enough to do, with going to school fulltime, and college.

We women can do it, with a little help, and a lot of prayer, we can do it.

GOOD JOB!!!!!

I can put up my artificial tree and get the lights on it and not have the ruckus x and I used to have trying to get a cut one straight in the stand. I can hang wallpaper easier and faster than he ever could. I replumbed a toilet from the floor up and it quit leaking - a feat mr. engineer handi-kind-of-guy never did accomplish. I can do some repairs on my dishwasher. I can check the fluids in my car. I can take my own car to the shop, thank you. And I can do a lot more cool stuff. And if I ever want to move my piano, I'll just call some friends and, when we're through with that baby, we'll have a girl party.

I love it! we can indeed be proud of ourselves. I know I felt the same great feeling of accomplishment when I hung the outdoor lights, bought a tree, set it up and decorated the house. If this is to be my last Christmas in it (and it will be) I want it be in style, the way I decorated it for us and he always commented on how nice it looked. I still cry every single day, and I probably will for a while, but I thank God that I CAN do things for myself that he always did, and it gives me peace of mind to deal with the unknowns of the future. YOU GO GIRLS!!

Girls,

I think its great you can all get up the trees and lights and stuff.

Now, can any of you fix those little light strings....you know...the ones where one light goes out and the rest of the string never lights again?

I find myself trying to fix them every year ....pull out one bulb..try another....then I always...after several hours...toss them in the garbage and in a manly fashon....run to the store and buy new ones....

Just a pet peeve I needed to vent about <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> ...sorry.

Merry Christmas to all.

I remain short circited,

Randy

I feel sooooo yucky still. The cold is better but I feel so tired and out of energy. One of my coworkers made a comment saying she thought my male patients would like my new voice--very demi moore. ha ha. Yea I sure don't feel too cute.

Anyhow, it is supposed to ice tonight and pray, please pray that son's school is not going to be closed tomorrow. If it is, then I don't know what to do with son other than call Deucey b/c I have to go to work. No family here whatsoever I can get help from with childcare. This whole thing stinks. I used to be a stay at home mom. It is really best when there are little ones.

Going to try to put up the tree in a bit. Couldn't muster up enough strength last night. I am so exhausted. Son is relaxing watching Juraissic Park in front of a roaring fire. We are cozy but I have stuff to do and am frustrated that I just don't have the energy to do it. I am getting ready to go and do the tree and the other garland before bed.

Pray for us and the ice thing and my cold ok? Thanks for being there. You don't know how much it means. This whole d thing gets me down sometimes still but on a whole am doing so much better.

Prayers going your way.......

I know what you mean about not having the energy to get things done - I have felt that way for almost 3 weeks because I had a cold and am just now coming out of it.

But you should see the house! or maybe not.

I had lots of plans to get more done than has actually gotten done, but let's face it, we can only do what we can do, and there is no one that we have to impress with the Hs gone. Your son is just glad to have your attention whether the tree is up today, tomorrow or in a week. Don't stress!

You'll feel better soon and then you'll have your energy back and will be able to do all sorts of things.

So relax, and take care of yourself and your son and let God take care of the rest.

K

Couldn't sleep - rough day trying to talk to the Possessed One, and could not even look at his face and see a trace of my H....you're in my prayers, hope you feel much better and hope the weather holds for you. I remember what it was like to work with small children and no family around to help out. It is tough beyond words, especially when they are sick. I still feel guilty if my 16 year old gets sick and I go to work....guess the Mom thing never stops. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> You sound like an awesome mom, so take care of yourself - the world needs folks like you.

I HAVE SOOOO MUCH TO LEARN !!!!!

I really hate doing this kind of stuff. It takes me a long time to figure it out, something breaks or I have to get something else to finish the job. It never was my thing.

I think I just need a house boy <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> or was that toy boy ?????

D.

npeachy,
Real women can mow the lawn too! And it's not nearly as difficult as my stbx had me believe.

So sorry about the son's karate class. I finally learned to tell myself "it's not my problem" when stbx would blame me for something that isn't my fault. The tactic stings and hurts anyway. Learning how to detach is a great coping mechanism, but with young children it seems like a lofty goal. Any chance your mr duecy is endangering his visitation rights by picking up son late from school (not just once, mind you, it could happen to anyone; but if it turns into a pattern).

Your subject line inspired me! After reading it I went out an bought outside Christmas lights! My 14 year old son and I put them up last night. I am a military wife and use to doing things on my own, but never have we put up outside Christmas lights. MY H never even has. He walked away from our married (15 years next month) a little over two months ago. Says he has "had it" and is filing for divorce. Says its "time for him to go...time to move on" we have three boys, ages 14, 11, and 8.
There is possible OW at his work, more emotional affair than anything I think. I hear she is also separated from her spouse. She is a lot younger, not attractive, smoker (H and I dont like being around smokers)...I think he is using her for emotional support. She would be the one person supporting his irrational decision.
I know H picked up papers, but he didnt file them yet. He is currently deployed for three weeks. I cant wait to see his reaction to our beautifully decorated home! A neighbor down the street says it gives the house a Homey look and shows that we have the Christmas spirit.

Thanks for inspiring me~
Sandy

Glad Sandy that you and son did that. OUr road isn't an easy one that's for sure. But I am home tonight and not feeling too good. I am really down.

I am going to do some housework and get the house really looking nice. Next week, I am going to go to 2 holiday parties. One with son, other without son.

But we can do these things. IF we have Christ in our hearts we can go through these holidays and make it somehow. Sorry I'm usually so much more optimistic.

Your lights sound lovely and you can be so proud that you did it yourself! I hope that they bring you some smiles this holiday season.

I was thinking this week that if this marriage falls apart, which it would certainly seem is inevitable now, Christmas lights is one thing that will be on the positive side of the graph.

My H is of a different religion than me and has never been a supporter of having holiday decorations. For a couple of years he begrudgingly allowed me to put up a tree, but only in a place not visible to the street. (wouldn't want the neighbors to know that we celebrate Christmas...????) Having a spouse that wasn't supportive of it, or even approved of it took the fun out of holiday decorating, so I just stopped. We (the kids and I) go to my parents' house for the holidays, so we have the tree there at least. I so miss having beautiful lights,etc for the holidays that I grew up with though. Sometimes I drive around the neighborhoods slowly, look at all the decorations and just cry and cry. To me the decorations stand for a happy loving family, which I don't currently have.

Guess you have taught me that holiday happiness can come from all angles, not just the perfectly happily married type couple with kids though. I rely far too much on my spouse for making my happiness, don't I????

Enjoy your lights.... your story has opened my perspective....... thanks and Happy Holidays!

(I think that if I see again the great combination fiber optics tree/ pre wired tree that I saw before Thanksgiving, I just might buy it..... will look for something to sell to buy it with!)

<small>[ December 07, 2002, 07:29 PM: Message edited by: OneTimeLucy ]</small>

my list of things Im proud that I did by myself.
1.put wax seal under toilet
2.textured the walls
3.cut & put molding around baseboards
4.paint rooms & do trim better than X did
5.wallpaper
6.hook up icemaker
7.fix a leaking sink
8.refinish old furn.
9.moved all my household items from another state while between 2 surgery(hand & breast)
I can do anything that X did, and I dont complain. X loves to control, X wanted me to call him & that gave him control over me. I was only asking for payments that was court order, now I will let the courts do the talking. I stop calling a few months ago. OW wont let X call our home, which is great. Its a lot quiter now, our home has peace. This was the man who used to tell me he would be with me forever, both of us taking care of each other when we get old. Now OW can put his a-- in a nursing home when he gets too old for her.

M-too long
c-13, 29, 8 gd
d-5-02
me-48, x-43

ow-32
d-7-02
m-10yrs
c-3 under 10

Hey folks..Sun. night and am recovering ok from the awful pharyngitis. Thanks for your prayers. And fyo...I sent Sauron's christmas card under his jokezzzz to Deucey..The one where the reindeer farts down the chimney. It is funny but it is my mindset now. Haven't heard from him since last night when he im'd me and asked why I was home on a good saturday night. Used to ask to come over when he'd im me like that...Oh well, it is much more stable since I entered the convent of the blessed celibate sisterhood this summer...lol...

Was coughing too much too attend church today. But next sunday I will definitely try the new one. I am still down but have renewed faith in my ability to be a good single chick and have decided to become a hottie once again. I did this the same time last year and had great results. But this year I will be freed from this pain. I am actually welcoming the d now. Yes, I will mourn the day I sign the papers but know that this has not been an easy road for me. I stood for my marriage for a long time. Nothing is left now. Unless God works in his life, I'm completely emotionally checked out of it. And I don't believe Rome was built in a day so I am not expecting a last minute Christmas miracle either. No reprieve. But that is why the Bible allows divorce under certain circumstances. And yes, I am going to welcome the people wanting to fix me up with somebody. I have been alone for a year and a half and he's been cheating for over two years now. Almost three. So I want to get on with it. I am sad for what could have been, but that is the death of a dream I had, that is all now.

I am going to begin hitting the gym this week. Now I'm feeling better, this will be fun. Am going to do one christmas activity per day with son. Why don't all of us who have children or children in our lives try this? Let's try to shift the focus away from this negative drama in our lives to something positive. And who is in it with me for a holiday self improvement thing again? I want to emerge the second week of January a veritable goddess of singledom here in hotlanta. My dream of a loving marriage isn't dead, just different now. God is in control and if he changes Deucey then I will cross that bridge if it's ever built. But for now, no bridge in sight so I am outta there. I want some closure now. It's been long enough.

And here's the greatest challenge yet folks. Sure, I am a very spiritual woman and I take my faith seriously but last night something occurred that I hadn't thought about. Yes, I joke about being the charter member and sister superior of the convent of the blessed celibate sisterhood but last night I decided that I didn't like this celibacy thing anymore. That I am going to rethink this whole thing now. And no, it is not because Deucey said for me to go out and get "f'd" at all. Not at all the case. But I am seriously feeling a bit remiss about the whole issue of me being soo celibate now. I won't consider firmly leaving the "convent" until I am dating a really nice guy and for a while but I am sick of this situation now. This is something new for me to ponder. And for Christmas I plan to buy myself something from Victoria's S. That way I can just set it aside until the day in 2003 that I leave the convent...Kinda like a hope chest of sorts..I will just keep in in my armoire with some nice scented sachets nearby until that day arrives. And that day won't be like any other I've decided. Since I am waiting for the right guy and the right time, it will be great I've decided. Will plan it down to every detail should the situation this next year present itself properly. But I am optimistic. We should all be.

I have accepted the enevitable. The d will go down and no,, I haven't stopped praying but realize that God will answer my prayer in His own time and will provide the best answers yet. I won't prematurely rush into anything, but I want to start off dating a bit in the new year should I somehow meet a nice guy. Letting God be in control. We'll see how Deucey likes it. Not only will there be a new me again, but a newer confident me to go along with it. A me who won't plead or beg ever again. A me who is confident enough to realize that I don't want this man the way he is at all. A woman confident enought to say that this whole marriage, and what is left of it, has been given over to God because IT IS FOREVER OUT OF MY CONTROL NOW. Deucey did so much that I can't believe it. Never remorse yet. From lies trying to make me believe that I am going insane when relatives and friends would witness him cheating and he'd tell me point blank that he was somewhere else to his taking my precious and innocent little boy on a week long trip with ms. monkeyho last thanksgiving to attending a marriage conference about renewing romance with his mistress and then trying to sit down and watch the tapes with me. I've had enough. He has made a mockery of our vows. He has spit on them and trampled on them for the last time. If I did not have my child, I would have not waited one second on leaving this man. One day he will discover what he has so trivially thrown away. He will find out that his wife was a treasure and that a family is not one made out of paper with a new wife and stepkids instantly. That a family is something that is forged over time and that you are given one. One. And you are responsible what you do with that family. Not knocking us who are remarried here with stepkids, but we know what it is like and honestly can say if we could have our nuclear and original families healthy and intact we would want that as first choice. But since some of us married those who kept our marriages unhealthy and broken, we had to leave and choose other routes. He is gonna find out all this too soon. His controlling side is not going to like this at all. Now I am going to be fair game for the right man. I am going to move ahead. Start living again. Still be the doting mom I am, but am going to go out more often and be actually visible for once. Breaking out of this mold of secrecy and prohibition. I have lived so as I could say that my marriage was honored. That I loved him, my stbx and kept my vows until the day the gavel falls. That irregardless of the loss of his moral values, I would show my son what a wife is supposed to be like and how you still honor your marriage. I want this cycle of adultery to stop right here, end now. Let my son grow up seeing how to life life and serve his Creator and his family. That putting self behind others is much more honorable than living like a hedonist or someone in a F. Scott Fitzgerald novel. To show my son that hedonism is a fantasy resort people visit, but that real life is not a fantasy where you indulge your every whim and skip out on anyone when the reality of life is a little too much.

And I can be this strong although yesterday and this morning I can feel so alone. This healing thing really stinks. It is like the growing pains of teenage years. Awkward. Not making much sense now. But I trust that years ahead I will understand how this was the only decision and that Deucey abandoned me and my son and this marriage. He is the one who checked out. All I did was file a document so I could legally separate from him. God knows my heart. God knows my desire to have a loving family. I have been faithful. I have been honorable. Even when I cry from time to time even after all this time, I know my future will be better than this now. So will yours.

Turn on your lights and tree tonight and realize that despite our feelings today that there will be hope. There will be love again. We know the tools to use when that day comes. And we will be loved so much more than now. Whether it is with just our kids or our friends and family or if it is to have our marriages restored at some later time or whether God has a totally different plan and blesses us with a new loving partner. It will be better than this holiday that is for sure.

Arrrrgh. Huge vent coming on. This one's a biggie. I am in b right? Well Deucey calls at work and I let vm catch it. This time he says that son is with him at work and not at school and that he will be visiting his grandparents for a bit before he BRINGS HIM OVER TO MY HOUSE. Arrgh. Ok. I have told him I want school drop offs. No front door stuff. Just school if preferable. So then he IM's me when I get home from work reading emails and says that he will bring son over about seven pm. That is ok but he calls right before he brings son over and says son is asleep. No big deal but next door neighbor's son who is my son's best friend has come over while his mom is at store (we switch off all the time to help each other out) and surprise my son. His best little friend misses him so much when he's gone. Little guy tells my son that he misses him when he's on "vacation". Thinks that visitation is a vacation. Innocence is bliss huh? Anyhow Deucey comes to door and I ask for him to pass son to me to go put him upstairs in son's bed and Deucey MARCHES UPSTAIRS TO SON'S ROOM WITH SON IN ARMS AND PLACES SON IN BED. DOESN'T REGARD MY WISHES WHATSOEVER. Then he says that he will come over tomorrow to bring toys son left at his house and wants me to give him back the shirt son wore today.

I am sick of this!!!! Arrrrrgh. My neighbor thinks that he is doing reconnaissance mission. To find a wayward pair of man's socks or underwear or something to suggest that I am doing what he's been doing all along. Well I am not. Or he is just being a control freak again. Disregarding everything I've ever done and said to the man.

I don't know what to do. He is just making himself at home. Walking right in with my son. I reach out to catch son and carry him upstairs and he marches right up there himself like it is his house or something. I don't get it. I am sooooo mad. He abandoned us. this is not his house. I do not even go near his home or inside muchless. So why do this? He wasn't figuring that neighbor's five year old would be over here to welcome son back home. Neighbor says to me that she thinks either he's doing reconaissance or he is trying to pull the one nighter again with me. Like he did about six months ago. But Deucey saw my lovely tree, my mantle, and the decor at least. He commented how my upstairs was messy (hey I've had pharyngitis severely here guys and running fever until two days ago) and still worked and was mommy last week. What did he expect? But still much better looking than most houses and the downstairs was perfect. So what's the reason...Any ideas? I don't think I can do a good B with a manipulative Deucey around at all.

Why all the coming over each time now for visitation guys? I demand school drop offs and he brings him each time to the house for the last month.

Hey, I put up 3000 feet os 4ft picket fence with 3 gates!!!!!!!!!!!! Had help from my 14 YO so.

This was same fence H told me not to spend $installation as "we" could do it. Didnt know he was under the influence when he said that. Then first time we attempted fence projuct H went out at 9am and got drunk so he could start project. Ended up throwing ax (new kitchen ventilation now in my alumonum siding), missetting gate posts and scrapping whole project until son & I did it following spring. Looks great