Hi, thanks to all who post on this site. It's been very helpful, although I'm currently on the D road. W is the one who wants a D. She works part time and is currently main care giver to our 3 year old. She wants to split up most possessions, but really wants the house. With our savings it would be pretty even financially, but I'm not sure if this is fair. She probably won't be able to afford it unless she refinances at the currently lower rates. She wants "us" to refinance before we D, to help out her situation. She is willing to forego spousal support if I let her have the house. Am I being stupid to even consider this request from her? Mentally I need to get out. She is sooo angry most of the time. Almost anything can set her off. Can "we" agree to not require me to pay spousal support or does the court determine this? She has not filed yet. She wants to go the dissolution route, but has threatened to file if I don't keep going forward with things.
I have posted before, but things have continued to deteriorate. I did my share of LB and she had an EA (min.) which she denies. I feel like she is in the "fog". I think the EA made her believe in fantasy land and that is where she will be if we D. She does not wish to try to go to councelling or any form of reconciliation. I can possibly bargain her into seeing my councelor but I'm not sure if it would change things. I really wanted us to work things out, but her anger is becoming unbearable. I try to avoid being around her. I am taking AD and an anxiety drug to tollerate things.
Should I move out, find a rental and rebuild my life or fight for the house and let her file and see what happens? I know these are personal decissions, but has anyone out there had a similar situation or suggestion.

bump

Don't move out. Retain a lawyer who specializes in family law. Don't sign or agree to anything without discussing it with your attorney. Right now you need to protect yourself.

DD,
Most would advise to NOT move out, especially if there might be a custody situation with your child. You should definitely see a lawyer, if for no other reason than to protect your share of the interests.

Often, the court will go with whatever the two (hopefully) mature adults can agree to on their own...but the laws differ by locality.

Also, check out these sites: Divorce Net and Divorce Info. You may be able to do some homework from reading at these sites (they're state-specific) and spend a little less time at the lawyers (therefore, taking less of his time and less cost to you). Good luck!

we lived in Al. each state is different. When X moved out it made him look bad. they called it abandament. It also went against him in court, I couldnt understand why he kept saying I threw him out. that wasnt true he left for MOW. The judge didnt believe him, wrote it in our D papers about MOW. X went after half the house & would have got it if it wasnt for the A. I did get spousal support for 9 months but only because of the A. they only give spousal support in Al if you were a eldery career mother & never worked in your life or A. X did have to pay COBRA insurance with the state of Al. because of my illness, that cost him $500 a month for 18 months. Al. divides half of everything you have. X only wanted a few of his personal items. But did try later to take half of household items. In esambamia county Al it doesnt matter what you had before the M it will be Divided. I would see a attorney first, most dont charge for the 1st visit. I won the house & household items only because X had an affair, he admitted in court that he was caught down dirt road with MOW while on duty as cop & she would bring him dinners after he moved out.

m-over 17 yrs.
c-13, 29, 8 gd
d-5-23
me-48 X-43

ow-32
C-3 under 10
d-7-02
M-10 yrs

Do not move out!

Do start on a Plan A.
...it's foryou!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Jim/NSR