I would like to ask you for a prayer request. My wife wants a divorce so that she can be with another man. She is having an affair with him. He is married and divorcing his wife. We have four children together and have been married 9 1/2 years. She keeps telling me she does not love me anymore that she loves him. I was working out of state and this guy lived next to her. A few months ago I got depressed and told my wife I was going back to the Army that she would be better off without me. For about four months she begged me not to do this. I told her that I was not a good husband or father and she would be happier without me. Well I woke up one day and realized I made a mistake. But then it was to late she was with this guy. For the past four months I have been tryng to work it out with her but it just seems to be making it worse. I have decided to back off and not talk with her at all and let God work on it. She is living with her mom and this guy lives next door. Her mom never wanted us together in the first place and is pushing this divorce. Now her history with her mom is bad. My wife told me some things that her mom had done to her as a child. When she was twelve her mom locked her out of the house naked. She would throw dishes at her and lock her in closets. Carol also told me one time about a year or so ago that she was afraid of her mom. I confronted her mom about this a few weeks ago and her mom said she was just playing with her. This guy she is with hates me and wants to know why I just don’t leave them alone.

Now my wife confuses me with some things. She tells me she does not love me and has no desire what so ever to work it out. Just a few weeks ago I had her alone at the park with the kids talking to her about what Jesus wants us to do and us working it out. She had tears rolling down her face. She has also told me she knows what she is doing is wrong but she wants to wait till after the divorce to accept Jesus into her life. Another thing is she told me last week she was afraid to be around me. I asked her why and she said she did not know but she was. Funny thing about it was just a week prior to her telling me that she walked up behind me and started brushing the back of my shirt off. It seems when I have her alone things are calm between us. I am able to talk with her and it seems like I am reaching her. But she goes back over to her moms and I talk to her on the phone and she is very angry and mean. She is going to First Assembly of God in Pelahatchie, Mississippi. I spoke with her Pastor but she did not seem very motivated at working on Carol. According to her mom per my wife’s lawyer’s advice she is not talking to me or letting me see the kids. I call all the time to talk with my kids but her mom will not let me speak with the kids or my wife. She said she is going to have me arrested for phone harassment. My wife told me they want her to file stalking charges against me for showing up at the school and at her moms. I just sense the devil really working hard on this at trying to break up our marriage. Besides God I have one other thing on my side and that is time. In Mississippi she cannot secure a divorce from me unless she has grounda so that gives God time to work on her. I thank God for being in the middle of the Bible belt where the lawmakers have Christian values. I know there will come a time where it is obvious she is not going to hear what God is telling her and I will have no choice but to let her go and move on with my life. I just don’t think it has been long enough for God to work on her.

My greatest concern is that we will get a divorce and I will move on. Then all of a sudden she wants to work it out. And all I can think of is my kids looking up at me asking for their family back and here I have done remarried.

This is just such a hard thing knowing that I can’t be alone for the rest of my life but the fact I know my kids need both of us together.

All I can do is keep my faith that God will touch her heart and our marriage will be restored.

To be honest I don’t think this guy is going to stick around. He is from Wyoming and working for the railroad. I would be willing to bet that there is a long line of broken families in all the places he has been. Even though he has already asked her to marry him I think he is just using her. She is 27 and he is 45. This is killing my kids. My oldest daughter keeps telling me she wants her dad back so bad. Even my wife’s grandmother says she does not know who Carol is anymore. Carols aunt said the worse thing I could have done is left her alone with her mom when I was working out of state.

I would just ask for prayer that Gods WILL would be done and that the final victory will be the Lords and not the devils. That Carol will accept Jesus into her life and that this hold her mom and this guy have on her will be undone and that our marriage will be restored. This is truly a battle that belongs to the Lord.

JMH,

I will certainly pray for your situation. There is also a prayer group of sorts on this board. Each Wed we fast and pray for our marriages and others. Check out the thread by Cajunky with next Wed's date if you would like to pray and have us pray for you.

God Bless,

D.

jmh,

So much to digest and still provide some insight. But I'll give it a whirl. I am WH and have lost my family but more importantly have regained my relationship with God through Christ. Your faith comes through loud and clear...keep your focus on the things ahead (Phil 3:13)!

Are you working with your Pastor? Are you at First Assembly of God with your wife? have you returned home? I'm not writing a book, know that God isn't or won't work on both of you when when apart! Rather, I'm trying to get a picture.

I can first hand tell you (I'm 38) that unless your wife establishes the necessary boundaries between herself and her mother she will not have a chance to recover or refocusher life let alone return to the man God placed before her (harsh but true...sorry <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> ).

I had a horrible upbringing (mother was eamotionally, physically, mentally abusive...to put it mildly) and only recently have been able to establish boundaries with her...she is manipulating, coniving and very controlling to name a few traits. Sounds as though your W had and has similarities in her relationship with her mother. You can only pray over that she find the strength to see how unhealthy that relationship is and more importantly to take steps to change it.

Satan may be winning the battle as he did in my marriage, but I know God has won the war <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> . I pray for your W to be guarded and guided by the Lord to turn to him for wisdom!

God's grace and blessing for you and your children. God's mercy and forgiveness on your W and OM.

In Christ's name <><!

JMH,

I know what it is like wanting your marriage restored and your spouse wanting out of the marriage. I found hope and God's will for my marriage at his site. www.restorem.org

I really believe you should go there and read the testimonies.

gentle