Hello everyone, just looking for other's advice here.
Bottom line, is at the moment my H and I are for all intensive purposes separated. Though we don't call it that... but we live in separate rooms, don't go into each other's "space" and don't talk other than about the children's schedule. We are doing more and more things like we are already single parents.
With that in mind... about a month ago I was "putting away" some laundry of my H's. (Ok, I was looking around for any evidence of an affair, since I am not supposed to put away his laundry anymore or touch his stuff) at any rate, I found an envelope with a stack of $100 bills in it.
Shortly thereafter, H left on a business trip (he travels 70% of time) that was very near his out-of-state family, whom he visited while there. No surprise, when he left, the cash left with him. So I am assuming that he gave it to his family to hide for him until a later date.
Now this just totally angers me for many reasons.
Firstly, H is always putting me down, blaming me for anything and everything. And here he is, the person that never does anything wrong.... doing this and thinking it's justified. (H is a very self centered individual)
Secondly, he is harping daily on how we have no money, high debts (we do), he demands receipts and explanations of everything spent on a daily basis to watch over (control) the expenditures.
Just recently he has told me how I have to spend "very little, much less than normal" for the kid's gifts this Christmas. He made our teen daughter buy her own class ring because of our "tight" situation.
He took away lessons from one DD because of "lack of money". He yelled at me for spending "too much" for back to school clothes this fall for the kids ($300 for 2 kids). He had a fit for me spending $500 to visit my family this past summer ($500 for 3 people for a 2 week trip!).
(Yet, he is spending $1200 to visit his parents this month though?!?!?!?! (We are not spending the holidays together. He is going home to parents for holidays...whole other story!) This is fair?! Of course it is, he is the "always vindicated one".)
Yet, he had no problem hiding this money.
OH man, this makes me so angry..(you see, I did wrong in this relationship, so now anything he does is justified in his eyes....)
He probably has hidden cash away with his family for a couple of years. He has ways of getting his commissions from work without me ever seeing the checks. Plus they would likely pay him via cash without a record. (I am also not allowed to open any of his mail, which is how any check would arrive to him) In addition he does consulting work for another couple of people that have in the past paid him cash.
Coincidentally, that perk ended when the relationship slid. ::::rolls eyes:::::::::
SOOOOOOOO I guess after venting (thank you for listening) the question is.. what (if anything) can I really say about this, since I'm not supposed to be touching his things (and vice versa). This just burns me though and it's so hard for me to bite my tongue day after day. When he tells the kids that they can't do something or that I have to limit my gift buying for them ~ I just want to tell him that maybe the couple grand he had hidden away would do nicely for gifts....... Oh Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
