I received my petition for divorce papers Tuesday AM at 6:30! Since then, my husband has called every day to ask if I have talked to my lawyer or what did my lawyer say about the papers. Last night he called and asked if I had called my lawyer today. I said,"No, was I supposed to?" He said he was just wondering. Then when I didn't say anything he said he would talk to me later and hung up. What is his deal? He has already humiliated me, destroyed every bit of my self esteam, and spent all of our savings. There is nothing left for him to destroy. What does he want. He knows I am going to find out more of his lies when the court orders copies of his personal bank records. I begged him to tell me what he had spent all of the money on. I asked to see his records he wouldn't let me. I told him I was going to get them when he filed and it made no difference to him. The really crazy thing is that I would love for the phone to ring and he would say he wanted to try to work things out. Then the next minute I want to hurt him as badly as he has hurt me. I think death would have been better.

Man.....I remember that feeling ohhhhh so well. I'm so sorry you have to go through this.

I too felt the same way. One minute wanting to strangle him and the next minute waiting for him to say, "I made a huge mistake...can you forgive me?"

Reality is, you are responsible for one person -- you. You can't *make* him do anything. On the *legal* front, you may never know what he spent his money on, unless you are willing to spend thousands of dollars on discovery. He could hide that information for years (like mine..... 42 times in court so far and we are basically no further ahead). In my case I know justice will come to my ex in a far different way than a judge ordering him to pay back half of the money he left with...... heck..... the judge can't even get him to pay child support!

There's an excellent website out there that has a whole bunch of *legal* information as well as other *stuff*. It's so hard to separate the legal from the emotional, but if there is any *good* advice that I got, it was to be educated and KNOW your rights. Check out the site: www.divorcecare.com It will tell you all about finding out where the assets went etc. Plan on spending a lot of time reading for the site is a wealth of information.

And lastly {{{{hugs}}}}} hang in there!